How Do I Breathe W8tingToExhaleMD: After 10 Years, my husband is leaving me for several reason's: 1. I didn't support him enough financially, 2. Because of Uterine Cancer, I can no longer have children, 3. He doesn't feel he should support me emotionally while I was finding my niche, 4. He doesn't want to wear his ring, 5. He wants to separate for a year so I can prove to him I can support myself financially, he is going to date and after 1 year if he is satisfied with what he sees then I can come back to him, 6. He is tired of animals, although he knew of my love of animals before we got married( we only have one dog) but I wanted another small dog. When he goes out he doesn't usually come in until 10:am the next morning but will not allow me to do the same.
All in all it is my fault, if I had a job where I made at least $1,000 a week and he had his boat, suv and vacations maybe I would still have a husband(crying)
Re: How Do I Breathe PiscesGoddess: oh honey I am so very sorry.. (((HUGS)) I know how bad it hurts..I do..everyone here does. I am going to first off say you deserve better than the treatment you are getting.. The things he said to you shocked even me and Ive been around ojar awhile :o
1. He wants to leave because you had uterine cancer? I believe the marriage vows say in sickness and health..ive been married 3X I know em by heart! ::)
2. He doesnt feel he should support you emotionally...HUH?? ??? How does he think he should support you? Or does he think he "should" at all?
3. He doesnt wear his ring..along with the above statements..RED FLAG RED FLAG...I dont trust him as far as I could throw him! Somethins fishy..I mean sometimes people dont wear their rings for allergy reasons etc..but along with the rest of this jerks statements..I think he's tryin to get out.
4. He wants to separate for a year..date..expect you to wait for him..and come back?? WHHAAAT??? He probably already is dating... Especially with the going out all night...
None of this is your fault..and I know you cant see it now through the tears..you will examine and reexamine yourself a hundred times over asking if there was something you could have done...and you know what? I dont think if you made a million dollars it would have made a difference. A jerk is still a jerk. THe sooner you get rid of this guy and get your strength back together.. The light will start shining and you'll see the darkness he has kept you in. Keep posting honey.. I PROMISE you it will get better.. one breath at a time.
Just try to remember that you are worthy of someone that loves and respects you..and this guy is not it..
Wishing you strength...
Pisces Goddess
Re: How Do I Breathe wendieann: My dear it isn't your fault! Don't believe him ever! He will try to convince you it was your fault, because he can't take any responsibilty for it!! >:( A real man would! >:(
If he doesn't love you :( [color=red"> nothing[/color"> you could do "differently" would change anything... there would always be an excuse!!! there will always be a reason why he just HAS to leave the marriage! :(
Remember all your great qualities... he obviously forgot about them, so it is up to you to think positive. ;)
ps. Your STBXH sounds like mine, and many other husbands too. We are not perfect, and we deserve the right to be loved for who we are... NOT for what they want us to be... :(
If anyone wants you to change then they are not worth your time. Especially when you know you are a great person! ;)
HUGS to you...and try not to dwell on the "what ifs" , "if only"...etc. You can't change the past, but you can do something about tomorrow, for yourself!!!! :)
take care my dear!
Re: How Do I Breathe dgiirl: Listen, I've been on the receiving end of some pretty cruel unrealistic expectations from my own exh. So I have a pretty good idea of how you might be feeling right now. I took on a lot of blaming. If I was more of this or more of that, he'd still be here. You know what, it wouldnt have made a damn difference. My exh needed those excuses to justify to HIMSELF why he was leaving. And none of them were based on truth. Not one single thing!
Your husband is not thinking clearly at the moment. He's irrational and the only thing he wants right now is out, so he'll tell you ANYTHING to get out. I wouldnt be very surprised if he's already met another woman. He wont admit it, and if he does, he'll deny she's the reason for leaving. He'll defend her no matter what. He cant think clearly and this is HIS way of justifying his actions.
The best advice I can offer you right now is seek some individual counselling and focus on you. It's going to be a long emotional rollercoaster, but trust me you WILL get through it.
Re: How Do I Breathe Falcon554: Wow, if anything wasnt your fault its this. I cant belive what I read. Im sorry but what a a-hole he is. How can you put demands on you like this?
I know it hurts, trust me I have been there. Hang in there and it will get better I promise.
Click More for the next page.
