Today is a bit better, but still very sad. doseyclwn: My STBX is coming over to hang out with the kids. Of course I am going to go elsewhere. I took off my ring last night and have not put it back on. This makes me incredibly sad. I really wish that she and I didn't have to end it like this. Any ending to it makes me sad. I was really looking forward to growing old with this woman. For some reason, she does not want that anymore. I have to accept that. As much as I hate that, I have to accept it. I am only 18 days into this, but it's more pain than I've dealt with in a long time. Bargaining and anger did not work. I have no wish to make this woman unhappy. As much as it hurts to write this, if she needs to be apart from me to be happy, then she's doing the right thing. I wish she didn't feel like that. I am no longer fighting it. I can't take the pain of fighting it. She needs space. She needs to figure out what she wants. I need to deal with the fact that it probably does not include me. Sorry to whine, but I wanted to get it out before she gets here in like 5 minutes.
Re: Today is a bit better, but still very sad. jadedangel: [color=navy"> Your not whining ... in fact your doing something that is sometimes one of the hardest things to do -- your putting all of her thoughts, emotions, hopes and dreams first ... why? It's amazing how when we love someone their happiness is absolutely the most important thing and whatever we must give up --- is ok with us --- even if it is us.
I have sort of a similiar feeling -- I have tried for months to become angry -- but how am I supposed to blame someone I loved for so long for looking for his own happiness. I get this same affect from your words. Each thought that leads to the ending it sad --- and I have finally accepted it .. you did that quickly, kind of amazing to me. I hope that means your recovery will not drag on.
If you truly are accepting it -- good luck. Hang in there ...even with sad -- it has to get better for you from what I can hear. [/color">
Re: Today is a bit better, but still very sad. brokenbaby: dosey,
this is such a hard process. there is no way you are whining, we want to listen and help. All of this is painful and you are so strong and there for your kids!
Anytime you want to talk go ahead. Believe me, I've done my fair share of rambling and everyone here is wonderful.
Moving on is not easy. But you are doing everything you can to move in the right direction. Stay strong and take care.
Re: Today is a bit better, but still very sad. ruby: my gift to you :)
As i walk along my path in life i gaze at the wonder that is to be found there. What a strange world it is that i have been placed in, for i am but a small entity trying to find my way. What is it i expect to recieve in this life, love, happiness, worldly possessions? Deep inside i know it to be much more. It is nothing less than a true awakening of my soul. As i look around me at all the world has to offer, I cannot help but feel a sense of detachment, for my path is leading me away from my present life into something that very few will possess. For while the world is content to sit within its coccoon, i am destined to become a butterfly
