What I have learned in 2000 posts... jadedangel: [color=navy"> It's amazing .. to me that I have been here long enough to post that much. Ok .. I admit ... I was never a really shy girl ... but jc ... stfu comes to mind. I remember when I was "brand new" ... seeing a post about what someone had learned in 1000 posts ... I am sure a few of you remember it. At that time, I can remember thinking ... ok when I get to 1k .. I'm going to feel better!! I'm going to see things correctly ... I'm going to have improvement... I'm going to figure it out .... and thank god ... I will be the f--- over him! ...
....after all of that ... I missed my 1000th post .... someone pointed it out to me a couple days later than I was over 1000 .... and I was just a lil dumbfounded ... because I was not better ... I was not completely in charge again ... I was not figured out ... and I was not over him ... over him .... now that in itself is a whole bag of issues I would rather set to flame .... because my "dating/promised relationship" I am over --- I have no dire issues with the loss of that ... no issues with being 'alone'... none with knowing who I am ... there are so many people out there I would rather be alone than be with .... I know in so many ways being alone is a better alternative.... I don't need someone else's B.S. ... I don't need someone else's money ...I don't need someone to pretend... and I don't need someone else's lies ...
... but him --- him, I am not over. I am not over losing probably the most incredible friend of my life ... and I can't, won't and never intend to replace that. It's hard to make a person love that intensely ... and not to pity me .... but it's that much harder with me -- because of things that happened in my past --- he fought an enormous fight to get me where he did. Only to drop me off on the corner .... give me a red dress and say .."best of luck to you" ...Even after this many posts... I still cannot comprehend how my best friend could leave me so cold and alone .... I'm getting so off tangent here ... but now ... I am at 2000 posts ... and I still don't have the absolute feeling of relief ... of being better ... I've changed no doubt ... but it's not where I wanted to be.
I wanted to talk about Ojar ... specifically. I know it has changed me.... some for better ... some for worse. I have met some absolutely incredible people here .... some I have laughed with ... some I have cried with ... some I have talked non stop to for hours on the phone ... some I text everyday .... some who have ignored me ... some who have hurt me tremendously ... some who have insulted me ... and some who try to place me on a pedestool (only to see if I will fall off while drinking ;) ) .... They are all here --- in this one lil place ...
In all of that ....... it's just an online message board ... right? It's not real life ... get over it .. right? ... But it's not-- It's real people ... with real problems ... and real emotions ... and real devastation. I have to admit ... the first time I was really hurt by someone here ... I was surprised, almost dumbfounded ... because of how cold it felt ... how quickly someone who was hurt by the same devastation could 'let me go' ....I guess that was one lesson for me yet again --- that for some ... that is all this ever will be .... is an online message board. Ojar is what you make it ... and the people from it ... are who you let them become to you.
This place ... has helped me to not feel so alone ... in a world I feel nothing but alone. In a formal thank you ... I really want to thanks to so many people ... I wouldn't dare list a name for fear of forgetting someone ... but I think those of you who know me at all know who you are.... and who you are/were ... to me. I'm not your typical psycho ... I promise ;). One name I can mention is Michael ... thank you for even creating this ... let alone maintaining it. I know I am just one of your many pita's ..... but I think you have a place in Atlantis .... all reserved.
All in all ... what I have learned ...
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my mind goes blank -- wow have I really learned basically that I know nothing still? I don't know ... I guess it just goes to show you ... some come here and hardly need this place ... some come here and become obsessed (not that I would know) ... some come here for weeks ... some are here for years .... we all take our own time --- posting or not ... something so obvious ... but -- then why do we keep asking if we are normal? Hey ... I guess at least I'm not normal with someone else.... [/color">
Re: What I have learned in (almost) 2000 posts... smokin: i want to break your 2000 post virgin status.
it will be ok. just kidding. the fin world is coming to an end soon.
you have learned i am a goose.
Re: What I have learned in 2000 posts... yella: Well, JA girl, I was at almost 4000 posts before I left here, and one thing that I learned from all of that was how outgoing I became.
That alone helped me in so many way, and hurt me in some too. I guess it's not in the number of posts we have that measures how far we've become, it's what we take from it, and what we actually learn.
Sometimes we can really change our cores being here, other times, it's a small part of our lives, but it can make quite and impact.
JA - You have so many friends here, and together, we'll help you get over "him". Even if it's a slow and painful process, and even if PQ keeps trying to lock you in the trunk. ;)
Re: What I have learned in 2000 posts... brokenbaby: JA ~ us Ojarians wouldn't be the same without you.
We all learn, give and take from each other.
You're the best.
And we are young, good things are yet to come. We can temporarily forget that there will be better days...but they are out there. Something ojar taught me, everything is temporary...
Re: What I have learned in 2000 posts... Peaceandquiet: Yea I would have to say that over the time I have been here and off here and on here I have learned that there are so many people out there with the same story, worse stories and ungodly stories. But we all pulled together when someone really hit rock bottom. I don't think that in your over 2000 posts Jaded that you have learned nothing, I think in fact you have learned alot. You have learned there are people out here that care about you, granted their are a few that hurt you, but the majority have always loved you and respected your words. I think you've realized that even though you feel alone sometimes you can just turn on the screen and watch others posts, and that you don't have to type to be involved. I think you've learned that your name pops up on more posts than you thought possible, even if your not posting to them, because people feel honored to know you and to use your name. I think you've learned even when you are in your darkest hours that people always stick by you and always will till you figure your life out and the new direction you will be headed. I think you've learned we all care a great deal about you, and no matter how much we may tease you and play around, we always miss you when your not here. People come and go in this life but memories stay with us forever. You are a memory that will always be with us, for who you are Jaded. Thanks for being here!
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