I am scared Poorme: This is the first time I posed here. I have been asked for separation against my will. A strong sense of abundantment. All along, I tried my best to be a good wife. I have been married for six years. Last year, I discovered my ex going to night clubs since we just married. I was all along living in his lies. He asked for forgiveness and I did. We went for counseling. I worked very hard to accept him. Finally, in return, he did not want to continue!
How come he did that on me? Anger, misery, depressed,.....all strong sense of feelings overwhelmed me. How to live with that feelings? When will I recover from those hurts. I am seriously hurt. My heart is totally broken after long struggling.
I need support from others. I need to be understand. I need someone to tell me that I did all my best.
Re:I am scared ChristyM: You obviously did the best that YOU could do and in the end, what else is there? It may not be always be enough - well, I guess basically that's why we're all here - in some way or another our best wasn't enough for the ones we married.
You won't be able to explain or control his actions so just concentrate on yours from this point on. And don't even begin to try and understand what he's thinking or feeling right now - you won't be able to in a million years.
It will get better, but it will take time. We will support you here and we're glad you found us.
Christy
Re:I am scared Basset: Dear Christy,
I can relate to your situation. I have grown to accept my husband's flaws and love him unconditionally. He had a weird way of dealing with conflicts and we did go to counseling in 2000. But he didn't change and I just accepted him.
This year, I was learning about how to deal with conflicts and improving myself, was taking time off to discuss things with him to make our relationship work, was willing to go to more counselling, etc - I gave it everything I have. He on the other hand grew to think that I hate him and called it quits! Then, he dare say I didn't love him after all my sacrifices. So, I understand how you feel.
Nowadays, every time I go to sleep, I have nightmares about him ditching me or having another woman. It is very disturbing. I am angry at him for not accepting my love, dissapointed that he starting hanging out with his friend Ron who is a womanizer and knows a lot about crime life which may have caused my husband to be in trouble, and pity my husband if he really does suffer from Bipolar which caused his crazy behaviors.
I am so confused. I think I need to go to a real life support group.
Basset
Re:I am scared frankeb33: well you did do your best. its sad, and im really sorry you had to deal with it. but it will make you a better person in the end. i know you might not see it now. but in time you will
