Re:WEDDINGS... newandconfused: One thing that I forgot to mention is the obvious awkwardness being at the wedding uncovered--that I was there to celebrate the very exact thing that is tearing me apart...so weird. i usually cry at weddings, but i didn't cry at this one--i guess because i'm so angry.
interestingly, i think i would cry at weddings when i was married because it seemed like there was so much hope for the future of the couple being married and i loved that thought...and i knew that there was no hope for my future with my husband...now that i'm in the process of divorce, i am angry that i don't even have the luxury to cry for what could have been b/c there is nothing left...no hope.
one saving grace of this whole thing is that the couple that were married that day are probably the sweetest people in the world and so should be married to each other...it really was beautiful.
anyway, the reception was very fun and i'm glad i went. and i'm glad i got it over with! now i know to be prepared and at this point, decline any wedding invitations.. ;-)
thanks to all of you who replied to my post--i really enjoy others perspectives on my thoughts.
k
Re:WEDDINGS... Spectrum: Snoopy,
I know *exactly* what you mean about crying over the lack of hope for the future.... I used to do the same thing at weddings, watching romantic comedies, etc.
You see how happy those people are, then you think of how you think you'll never feel that way again.... And voila. Here come the tears.
Kind of puts a different spin on people crying at weddings, doesn't it?
Spectrum.
Re:WEDDINGS... Bob-Bob: Snoopy,
Yeah I can only Imagine at this point what it was like for you... I have not attended a wedding yet... and I hope I don't have to for a while ...although I was asked to write a poem for a couple I work with for thier wedding..(felt like asking them are you sure you want a bitter old divorced poet to write anything for your wedding ;D) But, just the feelings you pull out to write about marriage are enough to really drag you through the pains.... and heartache of losing a love so similar to what you are writing about... Actually being there and seeing and standing alone when people are pairing off...ugh...
But... on the bright side you made it... and lived to post about it... LOL... it is one less thing you will have to face for the first time... and eventually we all start feeling more comfortable with our situations... barring a relapse here or there...
Glad the wine was good to you though
Bob
Re:WEDDINGS... barelybreathing: Try attending baptisms with all your old friends who are now having their second child, etc...
Families everywhere. Daddy's everywhere. Small kids everywhere.
I was the "only" single parent in the room.
BB
Re:WEDDINGS... bit pusher: [quote author=barelybreathing link=board=20;threadid=2522;start=0#msg21770 date=1080614648">
I was the "only" single parent in the room.
BB
[/quote">
So wear it like a flag ... that's what I've been doing lately. Way I figure it, I've been through hell and bear the scars. This is Not a Problem, just the way things are.
Last time I checked, you're not exactly in some kind of fringe minority if you're divorced. Last time I checked, you're not contagious. It is not socially improper to be divorced, it isn't a scarlet letter, it's just part of life. Be proud of the fact that you've survived some damn hard times and are still standing. Look around at the happy couples, and be happy for them ... it's good that there are happy, strong couples out there ... but let them see a happy single person too.
Hang in there ... These are the times that try men's souls, eh? (women's too, but I'd hate to ruin a perfectly good quote with some gender neutral PC crap. Heh.)
-bp
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