Anyone else move on before it was final? Ojarnewbie: ???
I have not been married long (1 year and 4 months) but realized that things were over only 4 or 5 months into it. I think I just realized that there were certain things I could not take from her mental instability. She's mentioned over and over that we should just end it. Unfortunately, guilt and feeling cornered in from all angles has left me with the hard task of spitting out my concurrence.
Has anyone here ever considered moving on before the marriage was "officially" over?
Re:Anyone else move on before it was final? sarao525: depends on what you mean by moving on. If you are looking for another to fill the loneliness, you should look to your spouse, or God. God wants you to keep the vows you made to him. Try a good counselor, before doing anything rash that you might regret in the future.
Re:Anyone else move on before it was final? Raven: Out of respect for the vows you did take, and the feelings for your spouse that caused you to marry her in the first place, I would say not to move on before the divorce.
You need to close this door before you open another one. My STBX decided to move on before even telling me he felt it was over, and I don't believe he could have made a worse decision.
If you are SURE that you want your marriage to end, then end it. Talk to your spouse, let her know how you feel, and end it....
I honestly believe that one cannot be happy in half a relationship. If you want to be able to give your ALL to yourself, or a potential mate...make sure you close the door on the past first. OFFICIALLY.
You will be happier, longer for it.
Re:Anyone else move on before it was final? Ojarnewbie: Hi Raven/Sarao,
Thanks for the input. You're both right. I think I'd be making things more complicated. It's tough being a guy! Sheesh. I've accepted that I'm a little bit more responsible because I should have called the marriage off. I've also accepted that I made a mistake and have to move on.
However, one of the biggest lessons I've learned is that no one really cares about you but yourself. It was a hard lesson for me...but I learned it very quickly.
I hope to have this all behind me soon so that I can grow and maybe even grow with someone else. But there is no future until I tackle the present.
It's very hard to approach all of this head-on. :-[
