The person who leaves, do they ever come back or are we kidding ourselves rhhope: My wife left me after only one year of marriage. There were a lot of clues that she was cheating but she never admitted it. On the day she left she said in a note that her life is to screwed up and that marriage was to hard. We still have contact and she keeps saying give it a couple of months until she figures everything out. I don't know what everything means, but right now I am at a crossroads. Do I keeping hoping she will come back or am I just kidding myself. Or should I just move on with my life and forget about her. I don't know but something deep down keeps telling me that this marriage is not over and to just hang in there. Maybe I am in denial. Has anybody ever came back from a seperation?
Re: The person who leaves, do they ever come back or are we kidding ourselves AMG: rh,
I dont know if this will help or not but I know what you are feeling. After 3 years, my ex doesnt know what they want or if they were even in love with me. He wants time to sort it all out. We have since stopped talking, too painful. Part of me, a huge part of me wants to sit around and wait, but I know that is not healthy. Part of me thinks I KNOW he will be back...I dont know if that is the "connection" I think we have or if I am just sitting in denial. I think the best thing to do is for now face that it is over, at least for the time being. Do the things you need to do to take care of yourself. Only do we grow through pain, and if they do happen to come back you can bring what you have learned about yourself into the situation. And maybe the relationship will be better for it, or you may find that you are ready to move on.
Re: The person who leaves, do they ever come back or are we kidding ourselves lapse of reason: Be careful what you ask for...you just might get it. My ex has come back and left and come back and left and come back and left all the times for the same woman. He is confused, selfish, and just evil. How could you put people through that?
I believe people make mistakes. If your wife does realize she made a mistake and comes back, make sure you know the whole story. Otherwise, you will have your heart broken time and time again.
Re: The person who leaves, do they ever come back or are we kidding ourselves Older Guy: you wife may change her mind , or she might not. However whatever she has done can not change. You'd have to deal withy that.
Re: The person who leaves, do they ever come back or are we kidding ourselves WhiskeyGirl: [quote author=rhhope link=topic=25508.msg242230#msg242230 date=1139931125">
I don't know but something deep down keeps telling me that this marriage is not over and to just hang in there. [/quote">
I know exactly what you mean....and I don't think you should close the door just yet. I don't think moping around and "waiting" is a good idea. Try to get out, try to move on as best you can....but leave that door open an inch or 2.
A few months is not a long time to wait....and you may be able to work through whatever it is. I don't think you are kidding yourself.
I do think counselling is a good idea though....if she says she never cheated and you don't believe her you need to get to the bottem of that,...counselling will help. Trust is so important....without it..you don't have a chance.
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