Humorscope 2/14/06 snkpack5: Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will be afire with enthusiasm today! Unfortunately, someone will put you out.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Resist temptation, today. You might have to get rough with it, or even wrestle it to the ground.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
E-coli. It's what's for dinner!
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will discover that your manager was frequently taunted with a rubber chicken during his formative years. This will go a long ways towards explaining some of the things you'd been wondering about.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Someone you've never met will come up and nudge you today. You don't have to stand for that, though, and you should just nudge them right back.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Leek soup day, today. Despite your recent tendency towards shoplifting vegetables, I highly recommend you buy a leek, not take one.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You will answer the phone today by shouting "You bloated sack of protoplasm!." Unfortunately, it's not your friend calling. It's your mother.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will hear a mysterious "whapping" sound as you are passing by a church today. Curiosity will get the better of you, and you will peek inside. To your relief you will discover it's only the nuns, playing a quick game of dodge-ball.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Old Neil Diamond songs will circle endlessly in your mind today. I recommend screaming and pounding your head on the table.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will become embroiled in yet another argument about crustaceans today. You will easily trounce your opponent, who will leave in a huff. He's just being crabby, if you ask me.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will invent a new type of bath toy today. It will bring you fame and fortune, although it will also be the cause of an embarrassing appearance on the Letterman show.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
It will seem a great shame to you today, that your little finger has a cute name -- "pinky" -- but none of your other fingers do. That's the sort of thing that very few people besides you really spend much time pondering. They have such limited minds, don't they?
Re: Humorscope 2/14/06 WhiskeyGirl: [quote author=snkpack5 link=topic=25525.msg242364#msg242364 date=1139943752">
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Leek soup day, today. Despite your recent tendency towards shoplifting vegetables, I highly recommend you buy a leek, not take one.
[/quote">
Damn snk! Now what will I do for excitment?! I was just headed out the door to do a bit of leek snatching ;D
Re: Humorscope 2/14/06 alonewith2: E-coli for dinner again?!!! But I had that 5x last week!!! Oh well.....it's better than nothing! ::)
Re: Humorscope 2/14/06 snkpack5: I just noticed these replies. My apologies, I was thinking up names for my other fingers.
Re: Humorscope 2/14/06 dre: Bath toy?
Hmmm.
Bubble bath laced with novacain distributed as valentines gifts for exes.
Just a thought.
Click More for the next page.
