Introducing new man into child's life..NEED ADVICE sosad05: Hello...I need some advice on this one. My XH and I have been seperated for about a year...divorce final in October. MY XH started living with a women immediately when I filed. She was suddently in the kids life day 1. I am the primary parent and its been the kids and me since then. The 3 of us live alone. I started seeing someone in July. I would not allow him around the kids until after the divorce was final. Our activities would consist of going for pizza, watching a movie...etc. I do not let him stay overnight.
In the past couple of weeks, my daughter has become increasingly nasty to him. NG (new guy) bought valentine presents for my children. XH had kids until 8pm, then I picked them up from my parents house. NG was with me. Daughter freaked out, "I dont want to see him". He gave them the gifts. She said, "daddy already bought me this one." My response was "well that's good, you have one at daddy's house and 1 at home." At one point in the car ride, she almost threw the box of candy at NG. We dropped him off at home and then I asked her why she was so angry. She said she knows he loves me and she doesnt want me to love him. I explained to her that no one will ever replace her and son and that I love THEM more than anything in the world. Also explained that I enjoy spending time with him and he makes me happy.
Later that night I had a discussion with him. He was upset and his feelings were hurt. He said he didnt understand why suddenly she's been so nasty to him. I tried to explain to him that this whole last year has been confusing to her and its just her way of acting out.
I dont know what to do. I will always put my children first. However, I dont want to never be able to see someone because it makes my daughter mad. I'm also a little upset because my daughter goes on and on to me about daddy's girlfriend and how wonderful she is. Im sure she's not being treated as NG is by her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated....thanks in advance!!! :-\
Re: Introducing new man into child's life..NEED ADVICE CinciChic: I seem to have taht problem with my oldest son who is 12. It has been just me and the boys for so long that he does not welcome the idea of me dating unless he can be involed some how. He doesn't understand the We need time to get to know each other before the kids get involved as to protect them from getting attached. No easy solution here. Just have to keep reminding her that she is still #1 and no one will replace her. Also maybe ask her if she would feel better about him if he did more family type things with them. They are funny little creatures (LOL... I mean Kids), and they can make it hard on us to date. She might not react to the other women in her dad's life the same way, since he threw her into the situation from day 1. They do not know anything any other way around him.
Just be patient...pushing the issue might make her fight back harder
Re: Introducing new man into child's life..NEED ADVICE jojo: I am so with you on this one.. I am going through this my 6yr old son point blank refuses to see NG and at the start they got on like a house on fire.
I dont want to hurt my son anymore but where does the line get drawn onto who is the boss.
Re: Introducing new man into child's life..NEED ADVICE snkpack5: I've been alone so long my son thinks he's my man. . . .
She needs to learn to respect him and your desires and he needs to relax and realize she's been through a lot . . . How to get them to do these things? Beats me.
