Should I feel sad? Josh: I am 28 and she is 25.
Were these the "red flags" I missed?
She had been married and divorced once.
She hates her dad's side of the family.
Her Mom has been married three times.
Her dad has been married 2 times.
She kept our relationship secret, not telling it even to her closest friends.
In her personal diary (reading it was probably the biggest mistake I made), she wrote, "I am stringing Josh along for attention and free stuff".
She started talking to this guy that her mom introduced her to, and her Mom said, keep both the guys around and see which one you like better.
Minor points(?)
She does not know how to cook.
When she got divorced, she hide a lot of stuff from her husband so that he does not ask for it or take away from her.
Pretty high maintenance (example, $200 hair cut every 6 weeks)
She said, I am into big guys and you are too skinny.
Why do I still miss her? Did I make a mistake by overlooking her bad qualities, and treating her like a princess? I know she is probably sleeping with that guy right now. I see her almost every day and I have not talked to her since we broke up (2 months). I have dated a few girls but nothing seems good so far. Is something wrong with me?
Josh
Re: Should I feel sad? CinciChic: First off... there is nothing wrong with you!
we are blinded by what we think or want to be love at times is all. It seem as if this girl is not worth all the heart ache you may be putting yourself through. You said she kept your relationship a secret... WHY? Either she wants to be with you or not... why the secret? You said she wrote in her diary she was just keeping you around for attention and free stuff... Doesn't sound like she really cared for you. Not sure about all girls but what I write in my journal comes from the heart and what I write is what I mean... unless she wrote it for you to find to see how you would react? Not sure. Seems that the problem is that you see her in your everyday routine... that in itself can not be good for you. you need to give yourself some time for YOU and not have her in your face, if that makes since. The red flags as far as the divorce thing.... maybe not... not all relationships work out when we marry at a young age... I speak from experience on that one.
My suggestion to you is this, you are single and young, get out there and just have some fun. Don't worry about settling down with someone. When you meat the right girl you will know it. Look for someone who is "natural"... meaning down to earth, not high maintenance, someone who just likes sharing company with you and who would like to have home cooked meals as a date night instead of having to go out on the town all the time. Do some soul searching as to what you want in a girl... but take some time doing so. Lots of nice young girls out there...
Good luck to you Josh
Re: Should I feel sad? Lumpy: [quote author=Josh link=topic=25590.msg243102#msg243102 date=1140039478">
She kept our relationship secret, not telling it even to her closest friends.
In her personal diary (reading it was probably the biggest mistake I made), she wrote, "I am stringing Josh along for attention and free stuff".
She started talking to this guy that her mom introduced her to, and her Mom said, keep both the guys around and see which one you like better.
When she got divorced, she hide a lot of stuff from her husband so that he does not ask for it or take away from her.
Did I make a mistake by overlooking her bad qualities, and treating her like a princess?
[/quote">
That first one is a huge red flag. Was she ashamed of you? I don't see how you could ignore that one. I don't think reading her diary was a mistake. Would you rather be ignorant and used? Seems to me that that was the inly way you were going to get any truth from her. Hiding stuff from the ex is another big one? Why would you want to be involved with someone who is so dishonest. As to the last, live and learn. If you have to treat someone like a princess in order for them to be with you, they're with you for the wrong reasons.
Re: Should I feel sad? angry1: Josh,
I'd like for you to do something very important for yourself today. I'd like for you to print out your post and save it. Put it up somewhere, and then read it again Feb 2007. I'm willing to bet that you will not recognize yourself then. I believe that you will be a much stronger person then.
Please do not waste any more of your valuable time on this frikin' loser! She was ashamed of you??? What kind of a realtionship was that?
I hope she rots...
