Getting back into Dating... in_search_of: Lets see, my ex moved out just over year ago (April 1 of last year) and I am finally getting into the dating thing kinda...Though I am not sure if I am really into it, or if I am doing it because I should be...
But I am really not all that good at it I decided. I started dating my ex when I was 18, dated him all through College and then married him, we made it until I had graduated and started law school (don't even ask about how much that played into our divorce...)
After him, I got intimately involved with a friend, and that went on until about November of last year, and we are finally to the point where we can't even be friends. I screwed that up in a major way. Another story for another day.
I have also dated, a guy that my dad set me up with who ended up being bipolar, then I dated someone with major depression issues (he and I are still friends though...) I have been out on a few dates with guys that I met at the bar (not a good place to meet people...I have decided some have been good some have been bad...)
Part of it, is I am sure that I am 23 and so few people my age are willing to take on the "baggage" of a divorcee' who knows...
My other issue with dating is that I really go after the guys who are a challenge in one way or another. Either they are just total asses (and I think that for some reason there is some good buried in there, and for the most part I have been somewhat right one that) or I get really interested in someone who is not interested in me. In fact that is one of my things lately, I am unbelievebly interested in a person that I have no reason to be. We go to school together, but we don't have classes together, but see each other when we go out. We have actually ended up going home together a couple of times, because we were drunk. But nothing has ever happened, in fact the last time it happened I was so drunk as to be sick, and so he had to take care of me...poor guy. He is not particularly attractive or friendly, but something about him has drawn me in, and I will never quite understand it.
Two of my good friend pointed out my weaknesses to me. My best friend from forever pointed out one night that I am happiest if the guy is a little bit of a jerk, and that is when I am the happiest, because perhaps they can handle my sarcasm...
Or as another friend pointed out, I go for the quiet guys, again that whole challege thing, I think I can draw them out and get them to talk to me...which also generally works out.
So where, other than the bars, do you go to meet people. I can't at work because most of the people there are way older than me and the few people who are my age are either married or engaged.
And at school you are dealing with law students, and the few good ones are taken, and the rest pretty much fit your stereotypical lawyer jokes.
And my church is all older people....I just can't win!
Re:Getting back into Dating... ostia: Maybe you should try the internet dating thing. A lot of my single friends do it, and they are all perfectly respectable, professional people, not freaks or losers or anything like that. I tried it, and had one weird experience, a few pleasant but unremarkable dates, and then I met a great guy I'm still dating now, 7 months later.
I go for quiet, bookish types, so I think I'm just not that likely to meet the sort of people I like in bars (or even at parties, generally)...so the internet thing does seem to make sense for me. But it's not for everybody. Might be worth giving it a shot, though.
Re:Getting back into Dating... in_search_of: I am trying it, I have an account online...perhaps it will work out, I have yet to meet anyone that I really am into, but perhaps in time...
Re:Getting back into Dating... Sman: Try your local Junior Chamber of Commerce or the Jaycees. Thats how I found dates before I met my soon to be ex. For example if you lived in Dallas, TX you would look up on the net 'The Dallas Junior Chamber of Commerce or Dallas Jaycees'. It is a great volunteer organization with men and women ranging in age from 21-39. They have social events, community events, leadership training etc. It is a very worthwhile organization to belong too. And if nothing else you will meet some great people.
