Stepdad issues w/ divorce concerned: I am a stepfather of 10 years going thru a divorce in Virginia. My stepdaughter sees me as her real dad since your BIO father has never been in her life. He sees her on average of 2 times a year with his last visit being almost a year ago.
My wife claims that if I don't give her a smooth divorce(she committed adultery and got caught) that I will never see the child again.
I was there when she was born and her mom and I have lived together since that day and have been ever since. The last 13 months my wife was on deployment to IRAQ and I kept my stepdaughter for the duration without any objections of grandparents or her bio Father. It was the best year for us and to see my marriage end has me worried about what rights I have after the divorce is final.
Can anyone throw me a bone here? My wife is saying that if I push the Adultery issue thru the court system/Military Judicial System(the person she committed was in the military as well and stands a chance of being kicked out because of this) that I will never see my daughter(stepdaughter) again. She said that she would talk about visitation if I promised to write/sign a statement saying I won't push the adultery issue thru regular divorce court and military court. Isn't this blackmail?
Don't I have rights as a StepDad?
Re: Stepdad issues w/ divorce kchopper5: I would consult an attorney. But it seems unless she is an unfit mother she will keep custody and have all control. If it makes you feel any better if she keeps the girl away from you than she will have to deal with the fallout of the girl not wanting to be with her and blaming her for everything.
Re: Stepdad issues w/ divorce beentheredoneit: well you could always approach the issue with the real father, and have him be a character witness for you in court? I don't know what that would do, but most courts look at the best interest of the child, and ripping her away from you, (especially since you took care of her for the last 13 months,) would not be in her best interest...once again consult an attorney and let your SD know that you will try. find out what she wants as well, that sometimes helps depending on their age and what state you are in.
