Re: This includes everyone!!! AMG: well I thought I was in a healthy relationship. Not so sure it was anymore. We broke up in the first few months of our relationship, he came back. I thought that meant we were meant to be. Now, 3 years later I am sitting here wondering what the hell. So even if they do come back (many things happen in life that you never think possible), it doesnt meant it will last.
Re: This includes everyone!!! sylvia3113: I believe I was in a healthy relationship. We got along well, laughed and had fun. Enjoyed many of the same activities, but had individual interests as well. Had similar values and beliefs. I adored him and he adored me and we always supported each other in public and in private. We didn't fight dirty or often, but we did have different styles.
Of course, over time i guess we became complacent and got lazy? in the relationship and communication definitely broke down somewhere along the way.
Eventually and out of the blue, I got the "I just don't love you the same way you love me" bomb which totally devastated me. I took for granted that he valued wedding vows as much as I did. That was the first time he had ever told me he wasn't happy (wasn't "miserable", but just wasn't happy) and within two sentences of that, it was all over.
I still feel that we had a healthy relationship, especially when I read some of the crappy marriages that people here have endured and some of the crap in general that people put up with. It totally scares me that somehow I've managed to mess up the only decent man and healthy relationship I may ever have.
And to answer #2. No he hasn't come back for me. He still keeps in contact pretty regularly. Still comes to see the dogs and if I need something, I have no doubt that I can count on him, but I'm 90% sure that he is still with the woman he may or may not have left me for (he says not, i say too coincidental that they began seeing each other within 2 days of him dropping the bomb).
Sometimes (ok, alot of the time), I wish he would come back, but i do realize that it could never be the same. That pure, innocent love and unfaltering trust has been tampered with and i don't know how we could ever get it back.
So, there's a looooong a$$ answer to what should have been a simple question.
;D
Re: This includes everyone!!! 21218: 'It totally scares me that somehow I've managed to mess up the only decent man and healthy relationship I may ever have.'
drunk ... no you didn't and yuo know ou idn'ts .... DIODN"t; ... d.... goddanmint. ... no you didn't and you know you didn't. why accept the 80% solution now, about giving and giviginajn GID... ok let km e sstart again.
no you didn't. you are afraid that this person you gave 110% to, who gave 80% to you will be the best you ever had.
isn't it better to be ALONE than be with someone who will NEVER TRULY love you? do you really want to live every day with that fear and unrequited sacrafice and NEVER getting it back? I know, deep down, that i didn't ... and don't. i deserve better than that. i would rather be alone and find some happiness and always find hope in the next than even THINK about staying with one with whom i would'v ebeen lied to, cheated on, betrayed. no matter how hard i tried.
you did have love ... all of us did for a litttle time. 'tis better to have loved and lost ... well, we loved. so we at least have those few months / years ... and it's a lot for anyone to live up to. it's really not fair to us or another, to have to live up to that. but i'd rather wait until i'm 45 than to have stayed in an unrequited love, giving everythingwhen nothing would be given back.
now it is time to sleep!
Re: This includes everyone!!! Lumpy: [quote author=21218 link=topic=26035.msg248353#msg248353 date=1140856865">
you are afraid that this person you gave 110% to, who gave 80% to you will be the best you ever had.
[/quote">
Don't knock 80%. That's a B. As much as I hate to admit it, I got an 'F' on my marriage. Do not pass Go, do not collect two-hundred dollars...
Re: This includes everyone!!! amess: I agree with Lumpy. If you get 80% of what you want, you're doing damn well.
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