Re: Nothing left Older Guy: I'm no therapist, but it seems like you have unresolved issues from your divorce and it will be very difficult to deal with new relationships if you still thinking about past ones all the time. It will be hard to share yourself fully with someone until you feel comfortable inside yourself.
Don't take this the wrong way because its meant to be helpful, but you can;t depend on others or external sources for your happiness. You need to be happy with yourself first. And then others can enhance or add to that happiness.
OG
Re: Nothing left Pepper: [quote author=jodygirl link=topic=26058.msg248406#msg248406 date=1140885652">
As I sit here again, another day, pondering over my life... I can't take no more... There is nothing left! ...
I can't even remember the last time I got a hug from someone..... Ya know the kind that you can FEEL they love you, well shoot, even a plain one, but I miss the ones I could feel... [/quote">
This sounds exactly how I felt with my ex. My situation is different than yours, but the feelings are the same.
I know that longing feeling, to have someone hold you and kiss you like you were the world. When in reality, just begging for a kiss was a big enough chore.
I'm sorry to say this to you, but it doesn't sound like you should be with this man. ( this is just my personal opinion )
You need to work on you. Go and get some therapy, trust me we all need help.
I don't want the same thing to happen to you as it did to me.
I stayed in the relationship for 10 years, then my life took a spiral I will never forgive myself for. A man came along that showed me the love and affection I craved so badly. When he kissed me I melted into his arms. This happened when I was still with my husband. I moved out right after. Now to live everyday knowing that I have done this is almost impossible. The guilt I feel is worse than any feeling of loneliness I ever had.
It seemed like it all happened in a instant. Now I've screwed up 3 lives instead of one.
All I am saying is please, do for youself. Go and talk to someone. Make your life important. If this man will not work with you on this, then you have to do for yourself. Before it's too late and you do something you can't live with.
I don't know how long you've been together or anything else about your situation. But I do know those words that you said and the pain that comes with them.
Re: Nothing left sosad05: [quote"> I'm no therapist, but it seems like you have unresolved issues from your divorce and it will be very difficult to deal with new relationships if you still thinking about past ones all the time.[/quote">
I agree with OG. I myself feel like Im in that situation. First, I feel like I will never love someone as much as I loved my xh. I also feel like my trust is completely shot. I am seeing a new guy and there is just something lacking. I wouldnt say that I feel alone but I feel like I cant totally give myself to him...and I know why. I know its because I have unresolve from the divorce. But, at the same time I dont want to completely shut myself off from new opportunities and people. So, I am seeing a therapist and trying to work through these issues.
However, it sounds like you have some issues with the new relationship. Have you talked to him about how your feeling? What does he think? Maybe he's just not the one for you. Anyway, hang in there!
Re: Nothing left jodygirl: [quote"> I'm no therapist, but it seems like you have unresolved issues from your divorce and it will be very difficult to deal with new relationships if you still thinking about past ones all the time. It will be hard to share yourself fully with someone until you feel comfortable inside yourself.
[/quote">
I totally agree!! I jumped into this one too soon and after being with him awhile NOW I see the real person. The problem is my xh and I talked daily for 2 years after the divorce and was talking of getting back together...Then he got involved with a woman that had made passes at him for 12 years or so of our marriage.
I found out and confronted him and he denied it so I asked her... YEP .. so now he wont speak to me... He thinks I just set out to break them up when all I wanted was the truth.
Now I wonder if she was involved all of our marriage, What part of my marriage was real.
But as far as the relationship I am in, why bother to seek help? I have talked to him and told him what I need, he just comes back with a snippy reply. He says things just mean.... it's his idea of honesty... To me thats like the fat lady asking her husband if these pants make her butt look big and he says "Well h@ll yeah they do" Why not choose nicer words.
Like I said, I have talked to him, he will at times agree and say he will try to give me some of the small things I asked for .... like atleast a daily hug and kiss....dont happen. It should not have to be so hard and take this much work!!! I didn't have this much crap from my ex!
Like when my car made a funny noise, my ex would have looked at it that day.... This guy says well you didnt ask me to look at it.... Well duh, cant drive it.
I guess the day I wrote this it seemed like why am I here..... everything is gone... no yard to tinker in, no dog to play with, kids are gone and this guy is here but I may as well be alone, he does nothing and wants me to do nothing... I may as well be alone.... and the silent treatment for days!!! AT least I am starting to like that!!! :D
Opps! I am gonna be late for work, mommas gotta bring home the bacon too!!! I'll be back on later!! Thanks alot for all the advice and kind words!!! I'll let him sit silent and I will come here to talk :) Thank you again!!
