Re: On imposed part time fatherhood Seeker: Sudboy
I know how you feel. I have the same emotions. I don't want to be Disney Dad or anything other than a father. It bothers me that another man is spending the time with my child that was supposed to be mine. It bothers me that he is imposing his will, likes and dislikes, mannerisms, and most of all lack of morals in my childs life. It also bothers me that when I have my child, my Ex spends her time living this life that is so contrary to being a mother. I feel very much like I am nothing more than a babysitter for her debauched life. She pretends to be this great mother when she has my daughter, but I know better. She can hardly make it to pick her up on time and she takes days off from work just because she will have her overnight and she won't have the opportunity to sin likes she wants in the evening. Worst is that she is letting a drunk, no good, lying, cheating man who didn't even care, or wasn't allowed partial custody of his child; into my childs life.
So, all that is to say, that I understand your feelings however,we as responsible parents have an obligation to not let all the crap that is happening around us cloud our judgement when it comes to our children. I brought the child into the world and I am responsible to do the best job of raising the child as I humanly can. That includes taking the moral highroad. I like to think that one day my child will look at me and say I want to be just like daddy. i want to set the standard, and another thing I am going to set it really high, and it doesn't take gifts or special occasions to do it. It takes the one of a kind love that a parent has for their child. It cannot be duplicated, the bond is genetic. It is a special gift from God.
It doesn't take any special talent to be a father. It takes a special man to be "Daddy".
Re: On imposed part time fatherhood flyaway: [quote author=Seeker link=topic=26073.msg248657#msg248657 date=1140984731">
It doesn't take any special talent to be a father. It takes a special man to be "Daddy".
[/quote">
Seeker, thank you for that! :) I couldn't say it any better myself. And Suds....your little guy will remember the day to day things that you do with him, too. For kicks, you could have one meal a week that you eat with your fingers....no matter what it is....(note: soup is NOT a good choice for this meal) He does not need a fantastic show of fatherly prowess....he needs you. And he will love and appreciate your steadfast, consistant desire to be the best Daddy you can be. :)
Philly_forever,
I feel that you may have mis-interpreted Sudboy's post. He does not hate the day to day work that comes with raising a child on his own, however, he is concerned about the lack of time in a day for flashy things. And just a side note here: Sudboy happens to be one of quite a few quality single dads around here, please don't let your anger at your exhusband(?) cause you to take such hard line on an obviously caring dad. :(
That's all I have to say here.
Fly girl
Re: On imposed part time fatherhood rjack0612: I know how you feel. I have my son 3 - 4 times a week and the only reason I do is so that his mother can go play house with the OM. Not because she wants to make sure his Dad is in his life or he is in mine.
I cherish the time I have with my son. She has not unveiled the relationship with the other man to him for what it is. He has met the guy and she is doing the big buildup, you know "my friend" did this, etc, my friend has a nephew your age maybe you guys should meet. All sneaky.
I am sure when this guys comes into his life full-time I will be pissed. Especially when this OM will have access to my son more than me at that point. If I ever do tell my son the "truth" about his Mom and her friend it will be then. He should know just what her "friend" did to his life.
Re: On imposed part time fatherhood snkpack5: Suds,
I feel the same way. While I have all the hard times and the day to day struggle, my ex and his wife get the funtimes and vacations and camping trips and all the other stuff he brags to me that they have time to do. Meanwhile I live in a state where the sun sets at five the months that I have them, its freezing cold, I get them out of daycare at six and have to have them in bed by nine. So I know exactly what you mean . . . But I can tell you this, even at my kids young age, they know. My daughter once told me that she loves me because I do EVERYTHING for her. So they know. And that's what keeps me doing it even through the midnight diarrhea and vomit and all the tough things that I went through alone. They do know.
Re: On imposed part time fatherhood Seeker: rjack,
I know exactly how you feel wanting to tell you child, but do you really want to be the one that destroys the image of his mother? She will do it on her own, hids are smarter than we know and he will figure it out or at the very least he will ask you. Just a thought, from a man who has had the same emotions.
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