involved myself with ANOTHER idiot! 21218: ... ugh. well, this time it isn't so bad. story time!
i met this girl at summer camp a billion years ago ... I'm in college and she starts a year after me at a local college, she looks me up, we start going out . so i dated this girl for a couple months sophomore year of college and we broke up. i don't remember all the details, I just remember that she was fun to hang out with but a little intense, then she started to go completely off the deep end and it ended. I doubt I told her to stop coming around, but I probably didn't work as hard to pursue it as I could've, but I didn't really care.
fast forward a year ... i had met my soon-to-be-girlfriend-now-ex-wife but things between us weren't serious, this girl looks me up again and we go out once. she was being sketchy and it turned out she was living with a group of people, one of the guys with whom she was actively involved with. i was interested in my STBXW so that went nowhere.
a couple of months ago she looks me up ... we talk about everything, how mistakes we made, etc. she proposes that I come up and visit her, which I think is great. i remember not being that nuts about this girl, but liking her, and i'm working on getting over this divorce ... she's showing interest, cool. i'm a little leery and I don't want to put in the effort to go there (leave paperwork from the Army) and I'd rather have whatever happens on happen on my turf, my rules, etc. so i decide (bonehead!) to suggest that if I'm going to pay for my ticket up there ... well, it would be just as easy for her to come down here ... and since she can't afford it, well, i'll pay for her to come down.
she's supposed to come down superbowl weekend ... to start off, i ask her like 6 times if she's absolutely sure about this, she's not going to drop the ball, etc. she assures me she won't.
i'm out to dinner with my friends ... i'm in the bathroom and one of my friends picks up my phone and calls her. nothing bad, just drunken rambling. but then she's like, oh, i don't want to feel uncomfortable and awkward down there ... i'm like, i'm sorry, he was drunk, you won't even see him if you come down here. then she's like ... oh i really want to watch the superbowl (she's from pittsburg) and it starts late ... so i'm like, get a later flight. then she's like, well i'm going to stay here and watch it, sorry to make you cancel the ticket but we can rebook this for another weekend.
after the friend thing happened, and then especially with the superbowl thing ... i'm like, this girl is backing out, she doesn't want to do this but doesn't have the balls to say it. but i feel like an idiot since i shelled out the money for the ticket and i don't want to be a dick and all suspicious and shit because of what happened with my STBXW, so I'm like ... cool, ok.
so this goes on for a couple of weeks, with her being harder and harder to get in touch with. then she can't come down because she has this job, but a lot of her away messages online on the weekends ... some are about homework and work, but there are a lot about skiing or going out to eat, or rock climbing.
so finally this weekend i got fed up. i IM her like ... listen, i want you to come down and hang out ... but i'm definately getting the feeling that you don't want to. so maybe i'm reading this totally wrong. but if you don't want to come down, it's cool. i understand that. but you did promise you would and you had me buy you a ticket and now you're backing out. i'd really like it if you'd either come down to visit or pay me back for the ticket. it's in your name and you can use it to go wherever, so it's not a big deal.
the next morning i wake up and see that she's signed on and off a couple times, definately had the chance to see it, no response. so i re-post it and she's like ... i read it, i'll let you know. that was like a day ago now.
seriously, i can't stand people that make promises and break them ... and then, to compound it, they don't do the right thing ... hey, i'm sorry, i changed my mind, here's your money back ... they string it along and along and along rather than be a decent human being about it. now she's still doing the same bullshit. what could she possibly be thinking? what could there possibly be to consider? either say:
1. i'm sorry i've been a dick, i'll come down there soon.
2. i'm sorry i've been a dick, i'll pay you back.
3. fuck you.
i'm not torn up over this ... i guess it's just the punctuation mark to the lesson i should've learned with the breakup from the ex. it's only a couple hundred bucks (only!) ... i just really did not need another kick in the ribs.
speaking about a kick in the ribs ... i had three others recently.
Re: involved myself with ANOTHER idiot! sadgirl951: Aww, 212, I'm sorry you keep attracting these awful women.
Don't lose hope though.
There is someone out there who will make all these chicks seem like nothing.
Stay strong sweetie.
Hope that helps.
LONA
Re: involved myself with ANOTHER idiot! 21218: 1. i go back home and i run into this girl i went out with for two weeks like ... two years ago. we were hanging out and then i went away for the summer. she stopped giving me the time of day on the phone so i dropped it. a couple months later she calls me up and tells me not to expect anything when I get back home ... uh, who are you again? i get back and she calls me up to ask me to hang out. knows everything i did that summer through my friends, basically wants me to apoligize for dating other people? i don't get it. i only did that because i was sick of the one sided conversations so i stopped trying to call her, she never called me back, and i assumed it was over. so whatever ... then when i came home this time, she knows i'm coming back, knows i'm divorced, knows where i'm hanging out. she comes and sees me and she talks to me about this one time, months ago, when i was asking her about stuff from when we went out. she asks me to go back to her place ... and proceeds to ream into me for some ridiculous shit. it was unreal. i went out with this girl for TWO WEEKS ... TWO YEARS AGO ... and SHE ended it, and she has a bone to pick with me. so i decided, my part to humanity ... i let her rip into me, i apoligize, i leave. let her feel better, right?
2. during that same trip i had contacted another ex and said i'd be coming down to visit. no definite times or dates were set, just that i'd be in town. this was right after this other girl reamed into me, and i'm pretty sure nothing ... ahem ... good ... will happen with THIS girl, so I just don't call her back. yea, a pretty scummy move, but it was just going to be a dinner and a movie ... in my defense, again, no definite times or anything were set. not like we had a place for dinner, a movie picked out, etc. i sign online at like 6pm, she's there, starts to rip me a new asshole for being so insensitive and this and that. i'm like ... i just got this divorce, i'm feeling like crap, i chickened out, i'm sorry for not calling you. continues to rip into me, etc. etc. i just keep apoligizing because again, hey, do my part for humanity and apoligize, get the kick in the ass you deserve, drive on.
3. i go to a bar one night, meet a girl, get drunk. she takes me home, we hook up. the next morning i leave her my number and go ... now, i'm not totally nuts about this girl, it was a drunken hookup, whatever. i don't even know her. she calls me, i let it go to voicemail. i text her back about how i'm sorry but i just got out of a serious thing, I thought i was ready, i'm not. i'm sorry for being a coward, leading her on, etc. but that she's a really nice girl and i'm sorry but i'm just not ready. she totally rips me a new asshole.
now ... are items #2 and #3 not nice things? Yea. they're not. don't get me wrong, i wouldn't want to be treated like that and I feel bad that i did it. but i mean, shit ... i had a tenative date with a girl that was in no way set in stone and i a drunken hookup with a girl ... and i apoligized out the ass. totally get ripped into. i got dumped by my wife after two years together and i'm getting a reaming for breaking a date. i got ripped into for not following up on a drunken one-night stand (and A LOT of guys would've never even bothered to call) ... and I just got stiffed with this plane ticket thing.
i dunno, just random ramblings. i know i haven't really been a nice guy to a couple of girls ... but shit.
Re: involved myself with ANOTHER idiot! sadgirl951: 212,
It doesn't seem your ready to date.
Just try to forget about dating for awhile.
Eventually you'll meet someone who will treat you right.
Don't lose hope.
There are decent chicks out there.
Hope that helps.
LONA
Re: involved myself with ANOTHER idiot! JNA: Not to be mean but you know me and how I tell it so here goes...
Don't chase women...
Let them chase you...
That sounds arrogant and unkind but I am giving you the best advice I know to give and women here will not like it I'm sure
See now a broke a rule of mine to not post things like this on the board but it is good advice ok...
Just my opinion...Doesn't have to be anyone elses
JNA
I'm not saying play games...
I'm saying it scares women for you to pursue them
In most cases...
Your the "catch"...Make her realize that next time
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