Re: So why is it that I still get pissed off at her? rjack0612: The things that she is RIGHT about I have apologized for. I have done my part. However, how she can THINK that having an affair and leaving me when I caught her red-handed and filing a phoney police report that I threatened her life had NOTHING to do with the demise of the marriage in UNBELIEVABLE!! (LOL)
Re: So why is it that I still get pissed off at her? seyfert: BDAD,
Your frustration just about jumped off my screen. You are right. An affair and police report go a long way to destroying a marriage. You may never get her to admit that.
I've learned that I can't get the stbx to feel or say anything. All I can do is take care of myself. I know you need to hear an apology from her, but sometimes, it never comes.
All my talk with the stbx, trying to get him to see my point of view, it just leads to more frustration. He sees what he sees. I see what I see. Neither of us is changing our minds and if we do, it will be because it comes from within, not because the other person showed it to us.
I hope that makes sense and you find the peace you need to move on.
Re: So why is it that I still get pissed off at her? sosad05: [quote"> But one meaningful conversation in regards to the demise of the marriage and how we both contributed, and YES...and apology would be a lovely thing.
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I agree with this. I know the things I did wrong. I also admitted those things to him in Dec. He has NEVER and will never acknowledge his faults in the demise of our marriage. This tells me he is likely to repeat them in his new marriage. I will NEVER receive an apology. I will NEVER be given a THANKYOU for the things I've done. He will never appreciate the things I did for him. I am 100% of the problem.
Re: So why is it that I still get pissed off at her? Lumpy: [quote author=sudboy link=topic=26511.msg254261#msg254261 date=1141837292">
Am I still just pissed that I got hurt and she acts like either she doesn't give a damn or that everything is just fine and dandy? I'm really not sure what to make of it. I am past the point where I desire any validation from her.
I guess it's just that I wonder if I deserve to be pissed off still -- which pisses me off. I just want to be over being mad. It's such a tiresome burdensome worn-out downer to be angry.
Today makes four months separated. Yay.
Okay vent over.
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I'd say four months is a short enough span. You deserve to be pissed off for as long as you feel pissed off. Who's gonna tell you otherwise? Her? I'd hazard a guess that in some way you are looking for validation from her. It might not be concious, but you want it. At the very least I'd bet that you'd like to see her fall on her face to some degree. Give it time sudsy. Everyone has got their own learning curve. At some point you'll grow weary of carrying it around and you will drop it. You probably won't even realize that you've done it right away.
Re: So why is it that I still get pissed off at her? sudboy: [quote author=BDAD link=topic=26511.msg254324#msg254324 date=1141843177">
The things that she is RIGHT about I have apologized for. I have done my part. However, how she can THINK that having an affair and leaving me when I caught her red-handed and filing a phoney police report that I threatened her life had NOTHING to do with the demise of the marriage in UNBELIEVABLE!! (LOL)
[/quote">
Yow that sucks. Sometimes I wonder if I really have all that much to complain about in terms of how my separation is going.
For me it's not about wanting her to come to me blubbering over with remorse about the fact that the marriage ended, as much as it is my desire for some acknowledgement on her part that how she flaunts her relationship with her new man is normal, acceptable, or even just a bit sane. How's that for a run-on sentence?
It's like all the rules I knew about relationships and my marriage were suddenly changed. And no one bothered to tell me until it was too late.
Sudboy
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