need opinion of some women plz isp34: Don't know if my original post is still in this system somewhere, but needless to say, my stbxw had been cheating on me for a long time without me knowing, she confessed, and we have been having a terrible time off and on dealing with each other...
Anywhooo, got into it last night with her about this and that, and some of my main problems stem from her inability to communicate and work things out. Don't get me wrong, I know the relationship is done, but we are still living together until I get out of the military, adopt the oldest kid (my step-son) and we finally get the divorce.
So, women, here are my main issues: (in her mind...) -->
Why is it ok for her to get mad at me but not the other way around?
Why is it ok for her in a fight to throw and break things on me but the second i walk toward her she says 'go ahead, i'll call the cops!!'
Why is it that she thinks it is ok for her to not have to compromise on ANYTHING?!?! I got the ol' 'my way or the highway' phrase from her yesterday
Why is it ok for her to spend the money I make on whatever she wants, but not ok for me to spend it that way? (she does not work - except to take care of the four kids)
Why is it ok for her to bail on me and the kids at night when i get home (for the lame justification that she does not want to be around me - i fully suspect she is seeing someone else, again) but if I want to spend a night out she asks me what i'm doing or who i'm with, etc., as if I am seeing someone - which i am not
And the big one in my mind, I know she and I are never going to work out, but we have some time left in the same house, I have offered up that I am willing to compromise (i.e. find a mutually agreeable solution) to everything, but she is not willing to compromise on anything...how is it a 31 year old female in this country is capable of that?
ok...women, your thoughts plz
dudes can chime in too if you want
Thanks for reading my rant
Re: need opinion of some women plz Dolphin Close: First off, why are you adopting HER kid if you're divorcing anyway?
All I can guess from your post is she's setting you up for a nasty divorce. Sounds like she's ready to take you to the cleaners.
You're the meal ticket, probably have been and she's used to that. In her mind, she's got THE power. How that happened only you can determine, but sounds like she's got you twirlng in her finger for a long time now.
Re: need opinion of some women plz sosad05: I am probably not a good female to put these questions too. In my case, it goes something like this:
-Why is it ok for a man to strangle me, I leave the house with the children for our safety, and the judge views it as I voluntarily left the house?
-Why it ok for a man to FAIL making the house payments once he's awarded the house and let it go to foreclosure?
-Why is it ok for a man to spend all of his money on HIS toys (motorcycles, jet skis, strip clubs) while I spend my money on OUR family bills?
-Why is it ok for a man to leave me all weekend with the kids while he goes on motorcycle runs with his buddies?
-Why is ok for a man to photograph nude women while his wife (me) is at home 8 months and pregnant? Why is it ok for this same man to buy alcohol for 19-yr old girls?
-Why is ok for a man to be THOUSANDS of dollars behind in child support and the case worker tells me we'll check into it next week?
My point...every situation is different. It's not ok for a woman to do the things she's doing. Its not ok for a man to do the things my xh has done.
Re: need opinion of some women plz Freckles: I think all this is hardest for the ones *Trying * To make it work.
Willing to Compromise. Wanting to FIX things.
Willing to Work to Make Marrage Work.
It is very Bad on You when everyting you do is
[color=blue"> Sand through your Fingers[/color">
That is how I felt.
I am Trying EVERYTHING to make it work.
Wife is Doing EVERYTHING to DESTROY MARRAGE!
[size=25pt"> Why ?[/size">
???
That is the Question
Re: need opinion of some women plz btodd: First I would suggest closing all accounts with her name on them. Yes if you divorce she will be able to get roughly half but in the mean time play hard ball. Im guessing you know this but if you adopt her child you will be responsible for child support for the child. Sounds to me that you have been the bread winner and she likes that.
As far as the fighting it is never o.k. for any adult to throw a tantrum i.e. throwing things breaking things. The next time that happens leave the house for a while and return when things have calmed. Nothing will ever get accomplished in that situation.
Her way or the Highway? If it were me i would start taking control of my own life and not let her have her way all the time.
This is just my opinion and you know the saying so good luck.
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