I want my exwife back... grizwold: Hi there-
I found this site and so far it has been very helpful to hear other peoples stories and reactions, and I think its wonderful, and great therapy... :)
Well here goes.... about 6 months ago my wife confronted me one morning about our happiness and things got emotional and before I knew it I had told her I wanted a divorce. She had quickly packed her things and went to her father's house really before we even had much more to say to each other. We owned a house, had just gotten a puppy, but things had been goofy with us for awhile. We also work together, and I was her boss. We had been married for a little over a year.
Needless to say the divorce was going through, she had moved out and we decided to sell the house. Through all of this, we barely talked, just went about our business of "getting everything over with", I met someone else. things progressed quickly and one time I had my new "girlfriend" over at the house. She stopped by later on and found something so she knew I had someone there. More anger from her, and more bullshit from me. I got very defensive and told her I didn't love her anymore, and she "didn't do it for me" A lot of stuff I realize now that I didn't mean. We continued to work together, but I would schedule it so we would barely come in contact with her. The problem was the new girl I had met also worked there, but not in the same department.
I soon got a transfer from the Midwest to the west coast and the new girl decided to come with. While I was out there (for only about two months) I found myself getting REALLY REALLY sad, and crying to old songs about my ex wife, and even lost it when i walked into Home Depot. I quickly broke up with my current girl and decided to move back because I needed to know if there was a chance.
This is a quite condensed verson, but I am currently back, without a job, no more house ( i have a small apartment), no puppy, no wife, and I regret deeply everything that I did. I have had conversations with her and told her how I feel. She keeps reminding me that I hurt her really bad, and brought another woman to our house, and told her I didn't love her. I know that I did this, and I hate myself for this. I keep wanting to be with her because I have changed and i think that "episode" six months ago might have been some serious mental issue. I have a hard time remembering a lot of things during that time. We are talking more, but i don't think I will ever break through, and I want so bad to. I love her to death and never did stop. I really don't know what happened back then and I pray that I might someday get another chance, even though I know I don't really deserve one....
Any help?
Re: I want my exwife back... flyaway: Wow...that is quite the story. :(
Ok...my thoughts here are simply this: you broke her trust in a cruel and hurtful manner. Trust is something that must be earned. You cannot expect her to just open her arms, and welcome you back with a smile.
Ask her to explain what her expectations of you would be, and work your arse off to make those things happen. Jump through all the hoops she lays out for you. I know it's a blow to your pride, but this, to me, is simply a measure of how committed you are to seeing her happy, and back with you, where you think she belongs.
Best to you in your endevours.
Fly girl
Re: I want my exwife back... grizwold: I know that I broke her trust and broke a lot of things. Right now my pride is non existant, and i have been trying to jump through every hoop she might want. I have also for once in my life found out what Patience really means. I will do ANYTHING... trust me, ANYTHING.
Re: I want my exwife back... lapse of reason: Griswold,
This is a touching story.
Do whatever it takes to win her trust back. That is the first thing that you will HAVE to build before you move forward. Talk as much as possible. Express your feelings and show her with ACTIONS not words exactly what you want.
She might put you through hell but you must endure if you are serious about getting her back. I am not saying to compromise your integrity, sanity, or self-respect. Just be ready for some pitfalls. If you really love her, use that love to fuel your determination.
If she, however, lets you know that there is no hope, then walk away and heal.
Good luck!
Re: I want my exwife back... poppy: grizwold,
i agree with lapse and fly. your story sounds a lot like mine, only my husband hasn't shown up at my doorstep. he actually moved someone into my home the week i left- and i still want to work things out with him.
is your divorce final? you would have to start new with her. actions speak louder than words, and she will see that.
i wish you the best of luck!
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