Re: Screw It Life2.0: [quote author=john link=topic=26554.msg254944#msg254944 date=1141933446">
I am not going to tell you (as some ignorant people do) “forget about him…he is a loser…there are other fishes in the sea….etc” CRAP.
let them go and show your strength.
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Contradicting comments don’t you think John? I like what you’re saying here though. However most of us here understand that having people tell us to move on and forget him\her, is not only what we DO NOT want to hear, but also what PISSES US OFF the most. That piece of advice only confirms that no one really gets this journey through Hell unless they have gone through it themselves. I know now that, as much as I did not like to hear this from my friends and family, it is the reality we need to accept. That life is gone and we need to move on and find happiness again, YES let’s go through the grieving stages with time, caution, and self awareness – but we need to forget them, take them out of our hearts, minds and soul for the good of our own mental health.
In reality though, I do agree with your last comment as opposed to your firs one above. - let them go and show your strength
It’s not easy and I’m not there yet but I know this - I am strong enough, most of the time, and achieve that goal.
Re: Screw It john: Hi Life2.0
First of all, I believe that we, all of us, are trying to help each other and share our experiences and thoughts. However, “LIFE2.0” criticizes my thoughts saying that, and I quote, “Contradicting comments don’t you think John? “ Let me correct you.
First, it is not an appropriate time and place to citizen others. You misread my comments and I would make it very clear for you. When I said that, “I am not going to tell you (as some ignorant people do) “forget about him…he is a loser…there are other fishes in the sea….etc” CRAP.” You agree that this advice is not helpful at all. Logically, it is true but the person who is suffering don’t have the ability to see it this way. In other words, the person is not thinking rationally but, rather, s/he is thinking irrationally.
When I said that, “the only way (in my experience) to win your ex back (if they love you) is to let them go and show your strength” it is clear that, when you read with the context, I said, “the only way…to win your ex back…” I didn’t say forget about him but, rather, I said in order to win him back, let him go. This is what I mean by that.
I hope you understand now
Good luck
Re: Screw It newts: Hi AMG,
I am sorry you feel this way, it makes it hard to just move on when you feel so consumed by greif and emotions.
Have you done any counselling? have you though about taking some anti depressants? Maybe you might need to try both these options, jsut so you can get on with your day to day life without feeling like a robot.
Re: Screw It Life2.0: [quote author=john link=topic=26554.msg255207#msg255207 date=1141952921">
it is true but the person who is suffering don’t have the ability to see it this way. In other words, the person is not thinking rationally but, rather, s/he is thinking irrationally.
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John, we are going to have to agree to disagree here. Bullshit, AMG is not thinking irrationly at all. I believe, and correct me if I am wrong AMG, that what you are thinking is right on the cue, it will just take time to translate into your reality. John are you really experiencing what we are as well, I have to wonder?
Re: Screw It AMG: I dont know. I can see both sides. It is kind of irrational to want someone back who treated you like crap, and to pray so hard for them to come back. That is if your looking in from the outside. But, if you heart is involved and you have been with this person, you have also seen all their good qualities. It drives you abosuletly insane thinking they took away there "good qualities" and are now giving them to someone else. It is rational thinking to be hurt, and if you really loved this person...and they really loved you back and were really willing to do what it would take to fix the relationship, then yes, I think it would be rational to give it another try.
I guess what it boils down to is when someone is grieving there is a very fine line between irrational and rational thinking. It is ok to grieve. It is ok to go out of your freaking mind sometimes, and be on this rollercoaster of emotions and not know if you are coming or going. You may not be thinking rational, but it isnt irrational either because it is to be expected.
I love my ex with all my heart and would take him back in a heart beat IF he owned up to his behavior and gave it a 110%. Even though he hurt me and said some awful things and lied to me. I think that is rational. It would be irrational if he were to call and say oh baby, I am so sorry lets get back together and just say...ok, all is forgiven and pretend like nothinkg happened.
