Re: He won't leave ga_sunshyne: I would have given my right nut(or his for that matter) to have my XH have said that he would go to counseling with me. Contemplated it maybe..but never did. I was in the same boat as Poppy. He asked for a divorce, refused to leave our home, continued his affair (within my own home when I wasn't there)...so the final straw was a drunken beat down for me. I risked him throwing abandonment up to me...but even at that risk...for my mental, emotional, and physical well-being, I got out. I left. I made a home for me and my son...take it I was never a full time stay at home Mom....but I worked my azz off at my day job..then I came home to my night job.
Do you honestly expect that he support u just as he has been if and when u do divorce??? HOw is that gonna leave him to be able to live??? He has to have the same things u will need only separately now. Ure gonna hafta ante up and get urself a job girlie girl. Yes, I wish I had been able to keep my family intact for the sake of my son...but I couldn't. He has seen me at my lowest...sitting and crying my eyes out in the middle of the living room floor cuz his Dad just disappeared with his girlfriend. I guess what I am trying to say is....I don't fault you if u are truly not happy and see no possibility of reconciliation..but at what expense. Are you expecting him to provide you 100% of your expenses??? Cause if u are that just ain't right.
My XH and I chose to share joint custody of our son. We split medical expenses and of course we both buy necessary items for him, but chose no spousal or child support. It works for us. But I guess maybe not for everyone.
Get this, now 1 year and 2 months after our divorce was final...he now doesn't think that the grass is as green on the other side as he once thought. But too much time has passed, too much water under the bridge...I can only say to him that I am sorry. I can't do what I wanted to do 14 months ago now. He had his chance, blew it....
at least attempt the counseling.
He won't leave bigproblem: Hi everyone. I'm new and this is my first post. I've been married 8 years with 2 kids 6 and 4. I've been a stay at home Mom and my husband has done pretty well for our family. A little over a year ago, I told my husband that I wanted to seperate and probably divorce. I felt that I had never really loved him, I never should have married in the first place. He is a good man but I definetely don't love him or desire him like a wife should love and desire her husband. I've never cheated and neither has he. He was really shocked, hurt, and devistated. I felt really guilty for hurting him but it didnt change the way I felt. He wanted to go to counseling and try to work on things but I didn't. I wanted him to feel comfortable with everything so I didn't push the issue for a few months. After that, I started nagging him to set a date to move out. I was really hoping we could be friends and raise our children without having to go through a nasty divorce. Anyway, he delayed and delayed moving out for this reason or another. I didn't want to be a bitch because I felt so guilty, so I kept accepting his excuses.
Well, last week comes and says that he is NOT moving out. He says he will have custody of the kids and he will give me money to move out. The problem is that he works 40 hours a week and I feel it would be bad for the children to be away from their mother (I will admit he's a good father, though). Plus he has always had control of the finances- I never worked. Even though he will give me money to leave it still doesn't make sense I haven't had a job since I was in high school! And he even said that I will have to pay him child support??? He makes good money and I make 0, does this make sense?
I feel that he is trying to manipulate me to stay together with him and that's not right. He says if we work on the marriage everything will be ok but I know it won't (at least for me). I also think it's wrong because he is using my kids against me. My family is not being supportive. I just don't know what to do, I feel so trapped, alone and upset right now. Any advice?
Re: He won't leave doseyclwn: Call a lawyer and ask the lawyer what to do. If you really want it over with, then set it in motion. Don't leave him (or yourself) hanging.
Re: He won't leave brokenbaby: Why did you marry him AND have two kids if you didn't love him?
Re: He won't leave hudson: Bigproblem.
A marriage and divorce ain't Burger King, you can't always have it your way. I think your reasons for divorce are shallow and selfish. I think you want everything your way and now you've come to ojar to complain about not getting everything your way. And you're complaining to a bunch of people who've had their lives torn apart by people who think and act like you.
Well, all I can tell you is, get used to not getting things your way. You're dumping a man who loves you for no good reason(imo), and you're kicking him out of his own house that he pays for.
You're tearing your family apart which will devestate your children for a long, long time and then you have the audacity to say that you want custody cause it will be best for them. Best for them, for your children? Somehow I doubt you have anybody's best interest in mind except your own.
Welcome to ojar, may I take your order?
