He won't leave bigproblem: Hi everyone. I'm new and this is my first post. I've been married 8 years with 2 kids 6 and 4. I've been a stay at home Mom and my husband has done pretty well for our family. A little over a year ago, I told my husband that I wanted to seperate and probably divorce. I felt that I had never really loved him, I never should have married in the first place. He is a good man but I definetely don't love him or desire him like a wife should love and desire her husband. I've never cheated and neither has he. He was really shocked, hurt, and devistated. I felt really guilty for hurting him but it didnt change the way I felt. He wanted to go to counseling and try to work on things but I didn't. I wanted him to feel comfortable with everything so I didn't push the issue for a few months. After that, I started nagging him to set a date to move out. I was really hoping we could be friends and raise our children without having to go through a nasty divorce. Anyway, he delayed and delayed moving out for this reason or another. I didn't want to be a bitch because I felt so guilty, so I kept accepting his excuses.
Well, last week comes and says that he is NOT moving out. He says he will have custody of the kids and he will give me money to move out. The problem is that he works 40 hours a week and I feel it would be bad for the children to be away from their mother (I will admit he's a good father, though). Plus he has always had control of the finances- I never worked. Even though he will give me money to leave it still doesn't make sense I haven't had a job since I was in high school! And he even said that I will have to pay him child support??? He makes good money and I make 0, does this make sense?
I feel that he is trying to manipulate me to stay together with him and that's not right. He says if we work on the marriage everything will be ok but I know it won't (at least for me). I also think it's wrong because he is using my kids against me. My family is not being supportive. I just don't know what to do, I feel so trapped, alone and upset right now. Any advice?
Re: He won't leave doseyclwn: Call a lawyer and ask the lawyer what to do. If you really want it over with, then set it in motion. Don't leave him (or yourself) hanging.
Re: He won't leave brokenbaby: Why did you marry him AND have two kids if you didn't love him?
Re: He won't leave hudson: Bigproblem.
A marriage and divorce ain't Burger King, you can't always have it your way. I think your reasons for divorce are shallow and selfish. I think you want everything your way and now you've come to ojar to complain about not getting everything your way. And you're complaining to a bunch of people who've had their lives torn apart by people who think and act like you.
Well, all I can tell you is, get used to not getting things your way. You're dumping a man who loves you for no good reason(imo), and you're kicking him out of his own house that he pays for.
You're tearing your family apart which will devestate your children for a long, long time and then you have the audacity to say that you want custody cause it will be best for them. Best for them, for your children? Somehow I doubt you have anybody's best interest in mind except your own.
Welcome to ojar, may I take your order?
Re: He won't leave bigproblem: broken-
That's a good question. It's not so much that I don't love him it's that he feels MUCH more strongly about me than the other way around. It's just not healthy when one person loves so much more than the other. I do care about him, although right now I'm not so fond of him.
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