Re: He won't leave bigproblem: blazin-
wow! are you sure you are not angry at your wife and taking it out on me? For your information i DO believe that the divorce is in everyone's best interests. How do you know otherwise? Do you realize that my husband told me that for everyone's sake that he would move out and then went back on his word? But you would never see the wrong in that im sure.
Re: He won't leave hudson: [quote author=bigproblem link=topic=26565.msg254973#msg254973 date=1141935650">
That's a good question. It's not so much that I don't love him it's that he feels MUCH more strongly about me than the other way around. It's just not healthy when one person loves so much more than the other. I do care about him, although right now I'm not so fond of him.
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LOL. Hilarious. You're willing to shatter people's lives including your children because "he loves me way more"? Yeah, right. I ain't buyin' it.
Re: He won't leave tara: bigproblem -- He may have agreed to move out in a moment of shell-shock, then perhaps consulted a lawyer who told him he could lose the rights to his house or his kids if he did.
In some states, if it's seen that one spouse "willingly" walks out, it can be persued as abandonment. My parents warned me against moving out first for that reason -- they thought my ex could then sue me for abandonment and win more $ -- but I live in a no-fault, equitable-distribution, community-property state so it's moot. It may or may not be moot in your state.
Alternatively, he may have consented to move out in a moment of panic or anger, and then thought better of it in a calmer state (or vice versa). People don't exactly "keep their word" when they're delivered a bombshell like yours. (And while it may be wrong to go back on one's word, even in this situation, one could argue it's worse to go back on one's marriage vows.)
Re: He won't leave nhlaholic: It's hard for me to sympathize with your situation because, taking the cheating out of the situation, you sound like my wife. The deal is, she seems to want out of the marriage and wants me to suffer the dire consequences of her decision. How is that fair? I understand your desire to find true love elsewhere, but I understand his desire to stay as I am in a similar situation where I face losing the privelage of living with our children because she isn't happy or willing to reconcile. Why are you leaving the actions up to him to perform when it is you who are looking to get out? I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but, based on what you wrote, I am having a hard time supporting your position. Perhaps you should take this time to get a job you are skilled at and prepare yourself to be self-sufficient. Then you two could come to an agreement where both of you could spend as much time with the children as is allowable by your respective schedules. Before long, both children will be of school age and you two may be able to easily afford partial day care before and after school which is significantly less expensive than full-day care.
Are you certain that he is using the children as leverage? My wife attempted to accuse me of the same and I immediately squashed that crap. Her sense of entitlement is BS. As a father, I accpted the responsibilty of supporting my children forever when I impregnated my wife and I intend to maintain that responsibilty. I have made no effort to keep her from leaving if that is what she truly wishes. I will not deny or contest a divorce should she actually file for one. Does this profile fit your husband? If so, why should he start over and lose everything because you are finished with the marriage? Maybe you could expound on this further to help me understand your reasoning?
[quote author=bigproblem link=topic=26565.msg254959#msg254959 date=1141934469">
The problem is that he works 40 hours a week and I feel it would be bad for the children to be away from their mother (I will admit he's a good father, though).[/quote">
Because he works 40 hours a week, he is already forced to not see your children as often as he'd like. By making him move, you are forcing him to lose more time. I think it is just as devastating for a child to lose time with their father as it is to lose it with their mother. I think there needs to be some sort of compromise and I think you are the one who needs to initiate it. Afterall, this appears to be your doing and not his.
I am not trying to attack you, I am just stating an opinion that is contrary to yours and I am open to a rebuttal from you to further defend your position.
Help me understand...
Re: He won't leave brokenbaby: [quote author=bigproblem link=topic=26565.msg254975#msg254975 date=1141935829"> Do you realize that my husband told me that for everyone's sake that he would move out and then went back on his word? But you would never see the wrong in that im sure.
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Thats sad. Really it is. My husband promised to put me through school and convinced me to quit my job and walked out with three bucks in the checking account. He promised he'd never hit me. He only choked me so that was different. He promised he'd never hurt me and called me a stupid f*cking B!tch. If you think he is an awful awful person for going back on his word for that...time to open your eyes and look at the real world honey, cause you sure ain't living in it right now.
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