Pride or doubt? stanker: I can't seem to reconcile with my ex-fiance. She cheated but after telling me, she immediately wanted to work things out. She begged and pleaded that things would change and she made a mistake. I now realize there were big problems in the relationship (and I admit I'm to blame for some of them), but here we are six months later and many issues still exist. It seems that as soon as I agreed to try to work things out, everything went right back to where we were.
I just wonder if she really doesn't want to be with me or I'm sabotaging the whole thing because of my pride and/or doubt about any future with her. Either way, I'd like some insight from people who have really tried to reconcile with a cheating ex. Anyone?
Re: Pride or doubt? sosad05: Hi...I tried to reconcile with my xh about 4 yrs ago after he cheated on me. In my own personal situation, it didnt work. I could never truly get over it. I almost filed for divorce then but thought for the sake of our daughter I had to try to work things out. Things got 10 times worst. I was not strong enough to get over it.
Maybe you will be. The bottom line is that it wont work out if you cant get over it. you will always question everything and not trust. In my case, my instincts were always right.
Good luck.
Re: Pride or doubt? SayAnything89: Hi, Stanker...
My situation compares to yours ONLY in the sense that when I try to work things out with my husband (I'm still with him right now, seeing a lawyer Wednesday to find out my rights), I find that the same issues still exist.
My husband is very abusive---physically (tried to kill me in '97), mentally, verbally, emotionally...and I think a lot of the issue in my marriage is the cycle of violence. When I leave, he tells me whatever he thinks I need to hear to get me back (and I stupidly return) and things are ok for a few weeks (the honeymoon phase)...then, things just build back up and we go through the same crap all over again. It's like he knows as soon as he's "got" me, he can start his s--t...
This is why I must see a lawyer...I'm so tired of this cycle...
I hope you find peace...though I suspect my husband has cheated on me in the past, I don't have concrete proof, so I can't speak from that perspective. I can say that if he did cheat on me, and I found out, I WOULD NOT forgive him...funny, I came back to him after he tried to kill me, but I know that I would leave him in a heartbeat if he cheated???? I don't think I could ever trust someone again if they cheated on me, but that's my opinion...you have to follow your gut and your heart...
SA
Re: Pride or doubt? stanker: I am having a really hard time dealing with it. I asked this woman to marry me and she was lying right to my face. The situation now is forgiven but not forgotten. I'm afraid it will never be forgotten and this is going to ruin any future I have with her. But at the same time, I worry that my pride is driving the doubt. Like, "How dare she do this to me! She doesn't deserve someone like me!". Anyone else have these issues?
Re: Pride or doubt? ajw: Do you deserve better.....Hell yeah!.........but if you love her you gotta try,you'd regret it even more than if you walked away from the relationship right now if you did'nt try
Click More for the next page.
