Doesn't know if she's IN Love with me? Psyner: Here's a brief history of where I'm at http://ojar.com/boards/index.php/topic,26936.0.html
So now we're calm, and talking like friends. I'm trying to not talk to her too much as she said she needs space. I just talk to her her when she starts up a conversation.
It's very painful to do this. It's also very painful to only be her freind right now.
I'm now able to kinda deal with the fact that she may not love me the way I love her. I'm dealin with it, but I'm crying constantly.
So its been a month since our seperation. We are now able to talk like friends and not fight which I'm thankful for. She's getting a prescription for anti depressants today to help her make her decisions.
Her main thing(i think) she is trying to find out is whether or not she is "In Love" with me. She now knows how much I love her, that doesn't seem to be an issue any longer. All the bad things we've said, done to each other the last couple weeks is not a factor now either(i'm assuming.)
She married young(19,) so it's a possibily that she was never in love with me or has grown out of it. She stopped giving me attention and cheated on me, so that supports the fact that she may not be in love with me.....
She did all these things while she was depressed from weight loss surgery. So I keep hoping that that is what is causing all of this. It may take awhile for the anti-depressants to kick in.
I feel that she was in love with me in the past, but there are other signs that she wasn't. I had problems showing her how much I loved her in her relationship as well.
Ok, so here is my question. How does someone NOT know if they are in love? I just KNEW. Like they say, "you'll know it when it happens." Although, until recently I never knew how strong love was and that I love her with all my heart.
I don't understand these thoughts of hers and I'm losing hope. Is it possible to not be sure if you love someone for a few months and then decide that you DO?
All the signs were there. She was annoyed by my presense. Made a point of doing things with out me. Complained about alot of the things I did. We ere agueing alot... lies... there's more, but all the signs show that she FELL out of love with me at least. I guess she's the only one that know if she was ever in Love with me.
Re: Doesn't know if she's IN Love with me? Psyner: Well, the doctor wouldn't give her anti depressants becasue he thinks she may be bi polar. Has an appt in two weeks to see a real Psychiatrist.
Looked up bi-polar and found the sysmtoms for an manic episode:
Signs and symptoms of mania (or a manic episode) include:
* Increased energy, activity, and restlessness
* Excessively "high," overly good, euphoric mood
* Extreme irritability
* Racing thoughts and talking very fast, jumping from one idea to another
* Distractibility, can't concentrate well
* Little sleep needed
* Unrealistic beliefs in one's abilities and powers
* Poor judgment
* Spending sprees
* A lasting period of behavior that is different from usual
* Increased sexual drive
* Abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine, alcohol, and sleeping medications
* Provocative, intrusive, or aggressive behavior
* Denial that anything is wrong
That's almost exactly how my wife has been for the last month.
So this gives me more hope. I realize that it doesn't mean that she's going to decide that she still wants to be married to me though. Today I'm in a comfort zone. Even before I found that out I've been calm all day.
I feel the Shock and Awe portion is over. She needs to help herself, I need to help myself.
I want to help her as much as possible. I'm content with still giving her space right now. I now that she knows how much I love her. Hopefully she'll open her door to me to help her as a freind more and more. I'm ready to accept any conclusion she comes to now. Pressuring her will only hurt our chances and make her decsion harder.
Re: Doesn't know if she's IN Love with me? Psyner: Yah, I'm talking to myself this morning.
Well, I've decided that there is just no way that someone lives with someone for a couple years, Goes through a marriage, goes through cross country moves, goes through trying to have kids.... goes through all the good times we had WITHOUT being IN LOVE.
I just dont think it's possible.
So she either wants to just give up of she's very confused right now and a psychiatrist will help.
Either way, I'm powerless! Trying to talk to her, even chit chat is painful to me. The little things she does to hurt me.... on purpose or not... are painful to me.
She'll either decide to give up or try. I've done All I can and I'm going to take a step back. I'm not going to start any online chats, I wont call her, email her ect.
If she wants to talk to me she will.
Re: Doesn't know if she's IN Love with me? Psyner: Yup, still atlking to myself... just venting.
She just invited me to a movie tonight. I have a terrible feeling she is going to tell me it's over.
</vent>
