Re: Anyone living with an abusive addict? newts: [quote"> Why have I been so blind, so willing to believe his lies and manipulation? Why have I stayed and allowed him to treat me however he pleases?[/quote">
Because love is blind!! And when we are treated so badly we make ourselves believe that we deserve to be treated that way.
I am glad you have finally seen the light - everybody has a breaking point and you have finally reached it. Congratulations.
Re: Anyone living with an abusive addict? solsken: You are so totally doing the right thing! I've lived with my alcoholic and violent wife for ten years and we have two wee boys. I'm getting out now but it's taken me 24 months to get this far. Guess what? Soon as I broke the 'divorce and custody' bombshell she's been sober for five weeks.
Too little too late.
Remember in a freaky way - you may end up helping help to sort himself but not in the useless co-dependent way we all fall into. *years wasted*
Good luck and look after yourself.
On a serious note - if you are frightened - do you personally know anyone who's a policeman? At least you could ask at the local precinct if there's a number you can call that's not 911 or whatever that they would respnd too in this kind of situation.
Good luck and go girl!
Re: Anyone living with an abusive addict? SayAnything89: Thanks for your replies newts and solsken...
newts...you are so right...I have been made to feel like "nothing" by him in the past 10.5 years...so I just became resigned to the fact that he treated me with disrespect. I always held out hope that he would suddenly see the light, unfortunately, that never happened. I tried to love him through it, but eventually, I realized that I have nothing left to give.
solsken...thank you for sharing some of your story with me. Thankfully, we don't have children....but I do know the hell of living with an alcoholic abuser all too well. The first two years of the marriage, before he got "sober" were absolute terror. He tried to kill me in a blackout. I put "sober" in quotes, because I think he's white-knuckling it...he's made several comments about having a "celebratory drink" on his 10 year sobriety anniversary??? We've been down the road several times where he falls off the wagon and his alcoholism picks up right where he left off. Now, he is abusing other substances, and in my opinion, he is addicted to pornography...He also shares many symptoms of bi=polar disorder...but will never get help. He is against AA, against help of any kind. When I have left him in the past (many times) to protect myself, he always tells me he'll change, blah, blah, blah....he tells me what I want to hear to get me back---and I STUPIDLY return...once he's "got me", he starts his crap all over again.
This time, I am DONE...I am proceeding with a divorce and getting the hell out of here while he vacates the apartment. (I am the on-site manager of the apartment complex where we live and my boss told me that the apartment is mine as a condition of my employment.)
I do know a local police officer personally...and when I return home (I'm taking off for 16 days mid-April) I'll be sure to contact him/local PD (and get a restraining order if I'm forced to) if my husband won't leave me alone.
SA
