Re: Anyone living with an abusive addict? Pepper: I agree with Lumpy,
Be careful! I moved out in a morning and got a co-worker to do everything with the apartment for me. I didn't dare let him think anything was going on.
If you have friends that can help you, now is the time to call on them.
Stay safe,
Pepper
Re: Anyone living with an abusive addict? doseyclwn: [quote author=SayAnything89 link=topic=27013.msg260838#msg260838 date=1143047250">
But then how do I heal and be the person I once was 10 1/2 years ago before I married him?
Why have I been so blind, so willing to believe his lies and manipulation? Why have I stayed and allowed him to treat me however he pleases?
Any thoughts?
SA
[/quote">
You don't become the person you were 10 1/2 years ago. You become the person you are supposed to be today, with time.
And you haven't been blind. The reason you have believed all his crap is because he's good at it. I am an addict who's been clean 10 1/2 years. I was very good at lying and manipulation. Don't beat yourself up. There's no point. Just move on.
Re: Anyone living with an abusive addict? SayAnything89: Thanks for all the advice so far...
Lumpy...no, he does not know about the deadline. He used a substance last night and "crashed" today, so he's being all sentimental....but I know it's a "crash", so I'm taking it at face value.
Pepper...I am calling on my friends, as you suggested. My boss and all my co-workers are amazing and have offered any help I need. I also have a friend in Delaware, and my best girlfriend in Pennsylvania...along with my family in PA who are supporting me.
dosey...You put this in perspective for me when you said I am not going to be the person I once was, I will become the person I'm supposed to be today! Thank you! Congrats on your success with recovery!! You understand very well what I'm dealing with here...
Thanks to all of you,
SA
Re: Anyone living with an abusive addict? Lumpy: Just make sure you have someone with you on the 11th in case he decides to "pop" in.
Re: Anyone living with an abusive addict? SayAnything89: I will be leaving at 8am on the 11th...I don't start work til 8:30am, so he'll think I'll still be sleeping.
When I leave, I'm going to the bank to remove my name from the accounts and to get a new cell phone.
Then I'm gonna hang out with my co-workers and stay with one of them that night before I go to the airport. He has no idea where they live. I'm deleting all the info out of my current phone so he will have no way to contact family/friends.
I'm trying to be really careful...I know what he's capable of and what he's threatened if I leave....
SA
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