When to tell your date that you have kids? Knuteski: I'm curious as to when everyone feels they should tell their date that they have kids (as well as discussing the divorce word). My feeling is that it should be done on the first date but I'm wording if I should wait a date or two to keep her from running scared without getting a full grasp.
I know too that it could depend on the particulars so hers the facts of my latest scenario. I'm 31 years old, successful in business, been divorced about 1 1/2 years (married for 6 1/2), I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who lives with her mom (every other weekend and one weekday each week with me). The person I've got a date with is a 25 year old, 3rd year law student that I met in a bar last weekend (which we ended up spending much of the night talking). With her being a law school student I don't want to scare her off unless no matter when it's presented, it is going to be a total deal breaker. But, I also know that most women see a man with a very young child (1 year-old when we divorced) and immediately assume this guy did something wrong (ie, cheated). Something I want to make sure isn't assumed. Also know that I'm the "big kid" type who loves every minute I'm with my daughter...and not just because she's my little princess but because well...I get to play too and no one looks wei ???rdly at me.
For the record, my Ex actually had a online affair (later on the phone) which was moving towards a physical meeting. While technically this isn't the final straw to end our marriage, it brought our other issues to a head (basically, me "ignoring" my ex-wife).
-K
Re: When to tell your date that you have kids? turning leaf: Get it out there on the first date. If she thinks a child (whether you are the custodial parent or not) is a dealbreaker, why waste time and money for a second date?
Know what i mean, jellybean?
Re: When to tell your date that you have kids? Knuteski: That I agree with but I guess when it comes down to it...my big question is whether there are a lot of women who would bolt if told on the first date (ie before they got to know the person) but if told a date or two later (before too long) when she knows the man wouldn't bolt. Or, for the majority of the women wouldn't it matter if told on date 1 or date 3?
(And knowing that those I'm looking to date are in their mid to late 20s).
Re: When to tell your date that you have kids? Obiwan: I agree with TL, get it out there on the first date...and go a step further and tell her how wonderful your daughter is...it's always best to be honest right up front.
Good luck!
Re: When to tell your date that you have kids? 2be: Those who are going to bolt are going to bolt whether it be the 1st date or the 5th. Personally, I would want to know up front if someone has a child. I wouldn't want to be 2 weeks into something when they say "oh, yeah... I have a kid."
I personally don't have a problem with it, as the woman I am grownig to know has an an 8-year old daughter. She told me up front and I respect that.
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