Getting Your Groove Back - NOT! MiamiFred: So has anyone here experienced this? My divorce hits the one year mark in April, but I jumped into the dating scene deep end feet first. After some poor internet dates that left my scratching my head, I did meet some nice ladies but was afraid to start something with them because they were "keepers" - there was potential there and I didn't want to jump in too soon and then wig out. They say men jump in too soon after a divorce and never allow themselves to heal - especially when they were the ones left behind. But then I decided to start a relationship with one gal who was younger (24) and still in school and still lived at home (latin culture here in Miami). Recall that the "keepers" were on their own, fulltime jobs, etc. We dated for 3-4 months, had an amazing time, it was great to care for someone again, have someone to txt message, plan dates, and just meet up and see them. Then I got scared, pushed back, she ended up dumping me, and now I can't get her out of my head. She has a boyfriend now and we still talk time to time - she puzzles me by saying she's not in love but would settle with him - says she feels like a Stepford Wife when she is with him. I say what happened to you and your personality? Anyway, I find myself consumed and wanting her back -- feelings I didn't have since my ex left me in shambles. Has anyone had any of these emotions when they jumped back into the dating scene and perhaps were rejected?
Re: Getting Your Groove Back - NOT! ItsAllBeenDone: Yep, know how you feel.....I had gone on a few dates, you know the dinner and movie thing , they were nice girls......but, they wanted more than I could give them........So I kept the online thing going, but it seems, most of them want someone to be committed to them.........Well, I guess what I am trying to say is this....I just got out of 13 year relationship, was on my own, doing things I finally could do, like go out with my friends when I want to, go back to school, stay and work late, etc, you get the point.........But I still wanted that companionship of just saying hey.........So it hit me just treat the women I meet like my best friends, you know hang out, talk about others and have a laugh, so as soon as I went into that mode and not the desperate need someone, I managed to meet allot and I meet allot of girls. I make sure their is no pressure when I talk to them......so instead of asking for phone number or email address, I just ask how there day is and so forth and leave it at that, no pressure. I have manage to hang out with nothing but women, and its great, its better than hanging out with my guy friends.......There is no sexual tension, no worrying about kissing, no dead air......just laughter and cutting up. My life has been great since I have done this. So I am going to let love find me instead of me trying to make it happen.......try it, its fun. Just my two senses ;D
Re: Getting Your Groove Back - NOT! JNA: MiamiFred...
I think we call pull back a little bit at first especially if we had a bad experience dating someone else...
Its kind of like getting to close to the fire..You don't wanna get burned...In that you are more cautious to just go for it per se and leave your heart open
To some extent I think it is normal especially if someone is pushing to hard...
Successful Relationships have to be eased into...Not 90 MPH
Just my 2-sense
JNA
