depended on you Irony: Dear D____
Tonight we spoke.. I came over to tell you how hurt I was about what you said to me last night. I told you these things because this is the new me. The old me would have sulked off into his cave to lick his wounds and you would have perceived it as anger. I am not that person anymore. I am not those actions anymore.. I will no longer shut down my feelings to avoid hurt.
I will tell you and anyone else what's on my mind and get it out in the open and out of the way.
Our old dynamic was for one of us to say something that the other didn't like, and then to either I would retreat or you would come out swinging.
I wanted to change all that. I decided to take the first step.. to acknowledge your upset and then let you know how my feelings got hurt. It worked well. we talked for a half hour, face to face.
In the course of that half hour the things we discussed were so relevent, so right on target, and we were able to resolve our differences, even agree to disagree.
I was very sad to see that a lot of your unhappiness was about how my son supposedly interfered with your perception of our marriage.. he was wounded.. his mother died when he was ten.. no slack to be cut by you.. you told me that he was a major factor in you deciding to leave.. you even got upset when the first time we left him alone for the day to go off to Raleigh, I called him to check up on him....OMG!!
How trite.. how petty. how selfish.. this from the woman I trusted with my heart.. this from the woman whom I thought was dependable and undersrtanding..
Bottom line is, I think you are selfish.. I put up with so much crap from your son while he lived with us.,. everything from him punching holes in the walls of our home to him pushing and shoving me while calling me all kinds of names in front of my own son.
Well I guess you weren't as dependable as I thought you'd be.. I guess your need to rid yourself of my son was stronger than your love for me.
Too bad.. cause you are losing the greatest love of your life.
Go ahead and enjoy your hermit existence.. go ahead and find someone else who will be a perfect man...go ahead and come home to an empty house every night.. I guess it ain't so bad.. I do it every night too.
You lose. You dont realize it.. some day when you;re old and grey you may wake up and realize you did throw out the best thing that ever happened to you.
sad.
Re: depended on you jadedangel: [color=navy"> Read it ...
and read it again ... read it til you really know what your saying is right. You know it's right by all logic ... your heart is going to try and trick you repeatedly ... don't let it ...
You have no question who is important in your life and she has no regard for a person who she should ... that lost his mother amongst so many other things ... You are his guardian .. and it is up to you to protect him from things like this .... I personally think it is a huge thing for you to keep your priorities straight ... If she is so selfish ... she can't take your son's perspective into sight ... your right .. she lost --- alot more than any of us want to speak about.
She will regret it ... I hope you have moved on and don't see it ... but it will find her one day ... and she will stop and wonder where it went ... I'm sorry ... I truly am ... [/color">
Re: depended on you JNA: Your right...
She is "selfish"
I don't know what to tell you about her per se but have a similar story if you want to hear it sometime...
Ya see if someone is not there for you as much as you are them then you "cut" them loose
Sorry to be harsh but this lady has treated you like you know what...
Don't be ashamed I let one do me the same
Because of one thing Irony...You care...
See you were all about her...
And she's all about herself...
Now that you have learned don't ever fall for it again...
I'm sorry this has happened to you..It happened to me too and changed me in so many ways Irony you would "never" believe even if i told you
I will tell my story on this board sometime ok...
Stay Strong
JNA
Continue to be a "great" Father...
And piss on her dude...You did right...
IMO
IM me if you need to talk ok...
Re: depended on you sosad05: Irony...I know you are going through unimaginable pain because of her.
But, you are an excellent father and good for you for defending your son. Your son went through a horrible trauma losing him mom. I cant imagine his feelings of a vindictive mean step mom.
You deserve so so much better.
<<<HUGS>>>
Re: depended on you Irony: Yes you guys are right.. it's been all about her.. by both of us.
And sosad, this woman teaches special ed and has a tough class filled with everything from learning disability, to add to severely handicapped. She has so much compassion for these kids.. anything BUT compassion for my son, for the kid she can't leave in the classroom, but has to live with. In no uncertain terms she tole me she is resentful of my son, of the 'dynamic' that goes on between he and I...that he and I laugh a lot and get silly together leaves her feeling left out, even though when we try to include her, she curls up in disdain and calls our banter "verbal vomit."
Sad, her husband abandoned his kids for a time after she left him.
I know it's all her stuff.. but the selfishness shows through.
Interesting.. she told me last nignt that she could 'deal' with me, but she can't deal with my son, or my son and I when we get together. She's even gotten upset on the times she and I left him home for a day when he was 15, and I called to see how he was doing. I guess it took time and my attention away from her.
I would not do this to her.
Guess we have a love hate relationship.. I love her and she hates herself and me.
It's been as sad journey and I'm weary... She is as impenetrable as stone and I grow tired of wasting my life holding out hope for her to change. She had told me to go ahead and make an appointment for counseling, and now tells me that she doesn't want to spend her vacation time (next week) in a counselor's office and doesn't really see the point to it anyway, even after we had discussed it and she had agreed to it.
One day up.
Next day down.
I'm too old for this ride.
Why do I have to love this woman so damned much?
iron man
Click More for the next page.
