5 years of love ... now gone Alliance_22: Maybe i should really tell this story long. I feel like it, and i feel that its fairer to say all of it. 5 years back, on the day before her birthday, we got togetehr, i was 17 and she was 16. She and i are the same age, 2 mnths difference. We were so happy when our relationship started, there were so many sparks and flames that kept us going, i'd skip high school to see her, i'd wait at the train station for her to come in the morning. I'd write to her during the time i'm waiting, until i see her walking up the hill to the station. Those times were so great, we skipped school and enjoyed ourselfs in the park, talking endlessly.
we'd send 60+ pages of emails to each other every single day, it felt like this was teh best thing ever happened in my life. And quiet frankly it still is the best thing that has happened in my life. 1st year was a breeze to get past, we'd tell stories at night before bed, we'd talk until we fell asleep in bed, this felt like really never ending. She totally gave herself to me, like i saw that there was no holding back at all what so ever, then a few months down the track, we started kissing, and both got addicted, and we kissed ever since. 2nd year was somewhat harder, we still had many moments of joy, but with it, came arguements which we both believed was acceptable in a serious relationship.
We got to meet parents, and we shared out thoughts together on so much things. We had so many great times together, but now that i look back, it was here that we both started to enjoy the relaxation, the comfort of it. No doubt, we had more fights in the 2nd year. But we still got along very good, the fuel that burns inside were so strong 3rd year, was the 2nd hardest of all, because we've neglected the fact that the missing thing in our relationship was basically the non-comfort zone, i realaize now how less we flirt to each other, how un-humor if there is such word... i was and how i looked into this relationship and started thinking, i need to prepare for the next step.
That was to ofcause leaning more towards engagement. But before that i must have each other's full trust. It was regarding this topic, that she said she has my full trust, but however, i had my doubts still. Because i felt that when she is around with other guys when she talks, she naturally flirts. And i mean i dont have a problem with that, but she does it so natually she dont know when it becomes serious... she dont know when to draw the line. So basically i kinda stopped her from flirting with others. She was disappointed that i showed no trust in her. But i knew what she was capable of. This year ofcause there were even less sparks in the relationship cause i took it for granted the comfort zone was secure enough. Boy was i wrong, and if anyone is reading this, they should realize that a girl needs from time to time get out of the comfort zone, cause you need to make her feel somewhat special and supprise her from time to time.
So this was a major fault on my part. WHY? cause i felt special, i felt like i'm being loved and being cared for. I felt happy and satisfied, i felt that she is the most improtant person to me, She made me believe that she is the one for me.... HOWEVER, this was only one way, things i do and say, the way i did things just thinking it was best for both of us, i was really stupid and greedy to think that what i see that i want is also what she wants. Looking back at it, it went all downhill from 3rd year. 4th year was the hardest, because of all those problems i pointed out, but because back then i was still young and stupid, i didnt realize this at all, and continued to live in my comfort zone. She gave a lot to me, i have to admit, i doubt anyone out there can do the things she would sacrifice for me. But this year was when she started holding back, and we had a big arguement similar to the one that lead to this 'Break' She told me that she cannot see the future that had me in it, she started saying that she may be able to find someone that can replace me, she really wanted a break, and i failed to give her that cause i was too attached. I was sad unhappy and lost, however because of certain things, i was able to convince her not to leave or take a break, She stayed with me because at that time she still had love for me, but that was fading in a rapid rate.
Re: 5 years of love ... now gone Alliance_22:
5th year was completely utterly too comfortable, no aruments, less talk to each other due to me working full time, it was then she fell in the dream due to a game called World of Warcraft, and there she met a lot of other people. Our problems continue to arrise, but was swept aside like it didnt happen, we still do what BF/GF does, she still made me really happy oddly, still made me feel special and that im the one.... She told me that she wanted to flirt with people online.... she said this "I wanna flirt online, but dont worry, it will stay online... cause in real life... i have you" Words that every BF would love to hear........ So I, as blind as a bat can be, continued to live in that comfort zone but not for long.... For a few weeks in a row, she didnt want to speak to me on the phone at all, she made it sound like shes just busy, she didnt sound unhappy at all... so stupid as i can be, i believed in that and continued until one day she wanted to goto the beach with me at night, i went there with her, but due to my condition at that time, i had diorhea, i ddint want to stay long or go into the sand, she was greatly disappointed. Since that time, she never did wanted to go out.
About a week later, i felt that there is something majorly wrong, and i started to realizing taht all this needs to have some attention on. So i called her a few times and she was busy online and didnt really want to talk, so i had a day out with her, and in the morning of that day, she was still like normal and happy. we went shopping, and we had lunch, i wanted to speak to her that night in a quiet place, but before i knew it, when she came over to my place, she started speaking, she said that she dont want to do what she dont want to do. and i was like what do you mean? She then said that she dont want to do things cause she is my Girlfriend, and i was like what? I dont force her to do things at all. then she said, i cant go on living this relationship like this, i cant stand to be alone with you here, holding your hands but have someone else in mind.... i was like What the Fu-k!? i asked who... she wouldnt tell me, and i was so disappointed, i had to think long and hard to realize that this guy was a gamer online in the game World Of Warcraft. I had a long talk with her and i told her that i realize what was missing in our relationship and that i can make it happen like before again, but to my setback she replied "You're a step too late" I was like Oh my god no way! u let someone that you knew for a few weeks that had a crush on you wreck this relationship that was 5 years. She said that it hurts her so much to see me hurt, but she aint going back on her words... and she told me that from last time, it feels like she continued to be my GF cause she didnt want me to get hurt, and that was the whole reason. So she cannot continue loving someone that she has no love for. I felt emptied. Wordless and started speaking crap. Cant you see? I'm the very reason that this relationship broke up, She loved me dearly, thats why i feel special!!! But i didnt have what it took to make her feel special! Sure i paid for everything everytime we went out, her phone bills etc. But that isnt what this is all about, it isnt about cash, it isnt about all the stupid gifts i had given her. THIS ended because i LET it end, I FEEL so guilty! i feel that if i had given just that little bit extra i would've kept this going perhaps forever. What am i suppose to do? I cant move on unless i KNOW that i have tried my 110%, but i havent! its like if she still thinks that we should be apart after i gave in all that i had, then it will be so much more moving on. She is a great GF and in my mind i saw her as my wife.... that was the mistake! cause for a wife, it is much more easier to live in that comfort zone. i really hate to say it but i do hate myself a lot for not taking action. The problem wasnt really her, but myself. She wanted a clean break, but i talked her into just taking a break so we can both think things through.... she even agreed to that knowing that she will get the clean break.... she did this for me, she is still wearing my ring that i gave her... for me. Do you see how much she loved me? But i failed to be that person she wants. That is why this relationship ended in such a terrable way... its not because of her at all.
She and i are 22... she called me the other night saying that she wanted the chance to meet new people, to see how they're like.... and only then can she treasure me and this relationship..... umm... although that didnt really made sense to me.... YEs this relationship was our first... im her first BF and she is my first GF... I love her and i miss her so much. If i was to be given a second chance, i'd make this last so forever.
Anyway ... my story of 5 years ending in a very bad situation.
Re: 5 years of love ... now gone ItsAllBeenDone: Dude, it all starts out good, it’s like a drug...when you fall in love, and certain chemicals are released in the brain that creates euphoria. All you do is stay on cloud 9, nothing else matters, but when that person falls out of love with you and no longer has the same feelings as you.......well everything starts crashing, you start to go into withdrawals, because you are no longer releasing endorphins, etc, etc that make you happy. So you had a good 5 year run, sounds like you learn allot from it........Don't take it so personal, doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. My first love in my teens was awesome, I thought the world of her, but she was not the girl I married either. These things happen.........If I were you , take a break from this 5 year relationship and go out and make some new friends, meet some new girls.........believe me in time, you will find someone 10x better than her, as long as you keep your heart open, it will come again. Let me leave you with these words to ponder....
"It is a mystery why we fall in love.
It is a mystery how it happens.
It is a mystery when it comes.
It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.
You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore than take the life out of the experience."
Time will heal......but in the mean time, you need to experience going out with different girls, and you will find that special person, and you will be on cloud 9 again.......Just my 2 sense :)
Re: 5 years of love ... now gone chaotic: my friend, I feel for you. I was once there.
I had just graduated high school and was dating a girl I met at work. I had dated a bit during high school, but this girl was different. I was 18 she was as well. We had the best time together for the first 6 months. I thought I was in love. About 6 months later she broke up with me saying that she wanted to see other people. Both of us were in college and I had a hard time dealing with the break up. I started going out with my friends and went on a few dates here and there. Later I met another girl who I thought was perfect. 2 years later a new girl came around and I started dating her. We had been married for almost 9 years together for over 10. She recently left me for another man...talk about heart break. I am getting over the heartbreak and now starting to live my life again and learning that life goes on.
Why did I tell you all of this? You are still a young guy with alot of life ahead of you. You fell head over heels for this girl and now you are left with a feeling of emptiness, for that I am sorry. Remember LIFE GOES ON. You certainly have friends, and you WILL meet new ladies. Eventually you will meet one that is special. Go out and do things you enjoy. This will lead to meeting someone that enjoys the same things. Make as many lady friends as you can. This will help increase your base of meeting someone new AND give you ladies that can give you advice.
Learn from what happened and start experiencing life again. Keep in mind, her loss is going to be someone else's gain. Dont let this one event get you down.
Re: 5 years of love ... now gone sadgirl951: This is just me talkin. Hope it helps. :-)
Pabracito, lo siento. Poor thing, I'm sorry. It is so painful and you have so many questions in your head. Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that? I too fell madly in love at a young age. Things just didn't seem to work out for us though. Whether it be distance or wandering eyes or flirting, it just didn't work. Those were the greatest two three years of my life and I will never forget that great love we shared. I started thinking I wasn't going to fall in love ever, until I met my dam husband. I was blinded though by a desperate need to be in love and excused a lot with him. I love my husband and won't forget the good days we had. Yet, I am glad to be getting rid of him. Now, I know what to do with love. It will take time and take some experience with love to figure out what love really should be. You'll see eventually that it just wasn't meant to be with her. You can always have the rememberance of her in your heart and no one can take that away. I give you my best wishes and good luck.
Take Care
LONA
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