Re: Newbie here but are any of you the person that fell out of love, if so come in Jamgirl: I wasnt married when I fell out of love. He was abusive and had to happen. He claimed he loved me still but hey, I had to go.
Councelling may help, try that if you want your marriage to work. You just may fall back in love. Good luck.
Re: Newbie here but are any of you the person that fell out of love, if so come in nrsgirl: Felt compelled to write because I was also the dumper, but it is, of course! much more complicated than just that. I left an abusive, alcoholic drug addict who was spiraling his (and my) life out of control in about every way. Financially, mentally, physically,....And the damage he did over time with his problems took me to a point where there was so much damage, the love could not survive. I still love him in that I care about him, wish so much the best for him, would love to see him happy. But I couldn't save him or the relationship, nor could I continue to be verbally abuse, neglected, put through the wringer on a daily, (hourly) basis the way an alcholic does to their loved ones. Life was a roller coaster and it was making me sick. Luckily! We never married. Too bad because I would have come out a lot further financially ahead (he got everything we worked for together instead of the other way around) but ....heres my point. Despite what others say about how you are bailing on your marriage, I do believe there is a point in any relationship where the damage done CAN be so great, the love gets trampled, damaged, whatever. It dies the way a machine does when its broken. My ex was so mean to me for so long that I felt like I fell out of love with him. I literally got so much abuse and so little caring/love that there was nothing left TO love! I still care for him/love him but I dont consider myself "in love" with him anymore. I dont know if my situation applies to yours in any way, but as someone who as been there at least on one level knows, love is not always forever. I think the best thing to do is try to see what mindset got you into the relationship, and what you were looking for, and look at yourself now. How are you different. Because obviously either you changed or he changed, and knowing the elements that went wrong might either help repair your marriage or help you to enter a more lasting union in the future. Nuff said by this gal. Good luck to you.
Re: Newbie here but are any of you the person that fell out of love, if so come in hudson: Well yes nrsgirl, if you're being abused by an alcoholic husband I would certainly advise you to leave...of course.
But I think melinda's post was directed at people who dumped their spouse simply because they fell out of love with them, not because they were being abused or beatin' or cheated on, which are all justified reasons for divorce, imo.
But to leave because you stopped trying and would rather give up than stick to your commitment and watch it pay off, that's mucho bogusness and pretty much sums up the reason why over 50% if marriages end in divorce. And yes, bogusness is a word, I made it up, so it's real to me.
Re: Newbie here but are any of you the person that fell out of love, if so come in fndcourage: "But to leave because you stopped trying and would rather give up than stick to your commitment and watch it pay off, that's mucho bogusness and pretty much sums up the reason why over 50% if marriages end in divorce."
A promise is no good if you can't keep it when times get tough. Take a look around here and you'll see how many of us are a result of those who "fell out of love" and walked. Blazin said it all-there isn't a marriage out there that doesn't hit that patch sometime.
The difference is those who stick it out and those who are to busy worrying about how green the grass may be...and who then risk it all only to find, after time has destroyed what could have been, they'll probably end up in the same place just with a different person.
Re: Newbie here but are any of you the person that fell out of love, if so come in freovir: it's starting to stink in here. . . :-\ :-X
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