Status on the OW 1hrtbroken+2: Stbxh called last night...funny how he's been calling well after the kids have gone to bed (called last Thurs. night/morning at 1 a.m., called Monday at 11 pm, called last night at 11 and tonight)...
From our decent conversation (a little heart to heart) last night, turns out that he and OW are not seeing one another anymore. He's not seeing anyone. Still doesn't mean that he's gonna want to work things out with me!
Said he's looking forward to coming down to see the kids....and me, I said really? He said sure he is. We talked a little more, he would make little sexual comments to me - I would just give it back to him (played along with his sick game). I still have his words repeating over and over in my head "You need to just Move on!" But he's telling me that he misses me and really wants to see me and then along with the little sexual inuendo's. He wanted phone sex - WTF! I said you still think about that with your soon to be ex-wife? He sounded different when he said this next thing...I don't look at you as my soon to be ex-wife. He was very saullen.
He said that he hasn't been with OW since before I came to visit him in January (for those of you who don't know - that's when I confirmed that he was seeing and having sex with her!).
I'm trying really hard to move forward - I've started taking the kick boxing class 2x a wk, I go to church regularlly, I'm attending a Divorce Recovery Support Group every Thurs.
My heart wants so very much to believe that there is HOPE, but his words keep echoing in my head and my heart doesn't flutter anymore at the signs that there may be hope of reconsilliation.
Half of me feels like he really is missing me/us and might want to take a chance to work things out. The other half of me feels like he's just lonely and he feels he can wiggle his way to get what he wants from me.
Well tonight he called pissed about a bill from the dentist ($740) from 2004 and 2005. Wanted to know what I was going to do about it, because he can't afford it. Now mind you that when the separation papers where prepared he was to take over all the bills - because he's the one that wanted out. And he said he would pay everything. Well needless to say that he calmed down and said he wasn't asking for money from me, he said he'd figure something out. But even though he's not asking for the money directly, he's trying to play on my emotions to feel sorry/guilty for leaving that bill for him...OH SOOOO SAD TOO BAD! I told him that he didn't need to get angry with me, I didn't know the bill was that high, in fact he's suppose to fax a copy to me tomorrow for me to review because I think there are some errors on it. I have the money to pay for the bill (my half of the tax refunds, but am going to use it for the attorney).
In a delimma - what to do? Also, since he's coming down in about 2 weeks and there is still a lot of sexual tension between us, I'm scared to be alone with him and my friends and family here want nothing to do with him, to see him or be around him. I told him that when he gets here we could take the kids to the beach or something fun with them. Hopefully having them around will detour any openings he may find with me. YES, I'm still very weak to his charms, etc...etc...etc.. HELP!!!!!! ;D
Re: Status on the OW sadgirl951: This is just me talkin. Hope it really helps out. Sorry if it didn't. :-)
This predicament is what I am very worried about. I know down the road, after my stbxh is done toying with his recent chick, that he'll start missing me, and wanting to be together. It would be so hard to not want that. To have his charming ways be pushed onto me until he gets what he wants. Yet, after he gets what he wants I know my x would drop me again. So all I can tell you is to try to avoid it the best way you can. When his words pop in your head, put on head phones and drown them out with music. I don't know, do something. Do anything to avoid him. I wish the best of luck with that. You are doing so good though. I want to give you congratulations and tell you how proud I am that you are going to church more and that you attend a support group. You are very admirable. You are a very sweet person. You are a good person. You are a strong woman. :-)
Take Care,
LONA
Re: Status on the OW Lumpy: You said yourself that you caught him in a lie already. (Regarding when he was with her) Sounds to me like you're better off not looking backwards.
Re: Status on the OW newts: The sexual innuendo's - just ignore them, they are doing without so it's much easier to go to something he knows. My ex does this all the time and I ignore him.
Let him arrive in 2 weeks, don't have sex with him - don't cave into to his B.S.!!
I posted on the sexual innuendo thing a couple of weeks ago, these are the responses I got (posted under sleazy or normal). I hear to many of my friends get caught up in these sexual lies only to be crushed. Be strong, reject his sexual advances, he will respect you more for it in the end.
Re: Status on the OW fly: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=27057.msg261524#msg261524 date=1143182386">
You said yourself that you caught him in a lie already. (Regarding when he was with her) Sounds to me like you're better off not looking backwards.
[/quote">
I agree whole hearted. Even though it may seem easy to run back to what once was, everything changed when he lied.
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