Possibly Good News wallywest: Hey all, been a while since I've posted so I though I'd give an update as well the hope that I'm feeling right now:
I've taken alot of your advice and backed off, tried to give her space and let my actions speak louder than my words. I did ask her last week to come with me to meet with my therapist, to get a professional opinion on my progress etc, she agreed to do this.
So the past week has been great, we've talked, laughed, been affectionate - it hasn't been back to what it was, but it was better than the hell of the past 2 months. She had a day off yesterday, and the paranoia set in early in the week for me, until I finally broke down Tuesday night and asked her point blank if she was meeting with her lawyer on her Day Off. She said that she indeed was. When I asked why, all I got was "I don't know" She has been hesitant to "Talk" to me, which is fine, as I am giving her her space. But Wed. night as we're going to bed, we had a very emotional conversation that was basically me asking why she would be meeting with her lawyer on the same day as she was meeting with me and my therapist, 2 actions that couldn't be more opposite, one to end our marriage and one that seemingly appears to be in support of our marriage. I asked if she was humoring me by going with me, and she said she wasn't, that she wants to go...we talked and eventually fell asleep in each others arms.
Yesterday morning, before I left for work, I asked what she was going to say to her lawyer, she said she still didn't know, that she originally made the appt. to begin the paperwork and start the process and she thought if she set a deadline for this meeting, she'd know what she wanted to do. I asked her to please reconsider and not begin the process as I thought it was a mistake and left for work.
I didn't see her again until late in the afternoon when we met to go to my therapist, she was chatty, we alughed while we drove. The therapist meeting went very well I think, when my therapist asked her if she ever though of couples counseling (something I brought up and she flatly said no to because "what's the point?"), she responded that she was thinking about it/considering it, which was a shock to me. When we got back in the car, we continued to be friendly/good feeling chatting. I asked her point blank what happened at her lawyer and she just said that she didn't start anything.
SO - I'm hoping that's good news for us. She had the option to begin the process of ending us, and she chose not to. I know that that this doesn't mean that she might not down the road, that she's probably still confused and figuring out what she wants, but for now, she's not going anywhere AND she's considering couples counseling.
Now, the paranoid side of me thinks that she could be playing me, that she did begin the process and is just playing nice until it all goes down. But I know that's probbaly not the case, as she promised she would not surprise me with papers or anything, and how frankly we've been discussing things recently...plus I tend to let my mind run wild with things like that, which I'm trying to do less of.
But, for now, I'm trying to look at it positively, that she's not convinced she wants to throw our marriage away and could be open to giving me and us the time to heal...*crossing fingers for luck*
Re: Possibly Good News grizwold: best of luck to you brother....
Re: Possibly Good News newts: I certainly don't think she is playing you - why would she be playing you - she has nothing to gain.
Best of luck with this, it's sounds as though she has seen that you really are trying to change for the better and that would be extremely appealing to her.
Re: Possibly Good News alonewith2: That is great news, Wallywest! Try not to let the paranoia show or it may run her off. Keep going with the closeness you two have found again, the counseling, etc, and see where that takes you! Good luck!
