Re: Today yella: I do believe in God, and I believe that he only gives you what you can handle. He's given me a bit too much lately and seems to do it all at once.
I know there are lessons that I have to learn, and some that I keep skipping over, which is why this is all happening, but I also believe that what I've been doing over the past 3 years has been right. The time it's taken is what was needed, even if I've been in limbo, there's a reason for it, and my lawyer said the same thing. The fact that I didn't rush makes it look like I know what I'm doing and that I'm 100% sure that this is the right choice. So, it's not all bad.
Of course if I could erase some of the mistakes I've made, I'd do it because some were repeated, but I can't, so I just have to keep moving ahead.
I have one sure strength... I'm stubborn as a freakin mule! Sometimes it's great, other times it kills me, but if I wasn't as stubborn as I am, I would have been dead a long time ago. The fact that I know I can live and drive a few choice people crazy keeps me going. Is that bad? Maybe, but it works for me.
I've been knocked down a few times, but I keep getting up and keep getting back into the game. No matter how shaken up I get, or how beaten I become, I keep getting back into it. Like a cat with 9 lives. Now I know why my cat TJ loves me so much. We're exactly alike!
d2b - Thank you, and I'll help Goddess keep you in line... just as soon as this meeting is over, and I'll update it then.
4.25 hours...
Re: Today sheydp: That sounds like a good list of strength - I can HEAR the power coming back into your voice. Are you becoming more confident? You have been down, and came back up, and you are coming back up now!
You use that stubbornness - you use everything you have! You pull strength from your toenails, from the air around you with every deep breath you take. (This is where you take a deep breath!)
What do you do to calm and center yourself?
Shey
Re: Today thehitekrednek: Smiley???????Honey???????
We're here for you, anytime. You can get mad, it's ok. You can be sad and scared that's normal too. I have big shoulders for you to lean on, or cry on, anytime you want.
I missed you, it's just not the same without you, Hun. You can do this court thing, you have all the strength in the world. Just give them that evil eye, and igore the crap.
Welcome Back
Spike
Re: Today yella: I missed you guys too, Spike. More than anyone can ever know.
I think the biggest thing for me is leaning on other people. I'm doing that more now than I ever have before, and it's helping.
What do I do to calm and center myself? Well, lately it's been the gym, but because I have to leave early today, I can't go. When I'm on the treadmill, I increase me speed slowly, and after a few minutes I close my eyes, walk quicker, and imagine the stress, and the people who've hurt me, falling out from under my feet. That helps.
Another good thing.. I just secured a workout partner, so she'll begin going with me next week! That's a plus, right? ;)
I think over the past couple of weeks I've forgotten that I'm a likeable person, and that I'm not a monster, just jaded at the moment. I've been knocked down pretty hard, so I'm fighting to get back up. It's hard trying to rebuild from the inside out after that... again... but I try to remind myself of who I am, and why I'm here. That's another reason I came back. I have friends here, and I was selfish to leave.
Re: Today thehitekrednek: You're forgiven.
((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
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