It's really final....justification in revenge?? fndcourage: For those of you who don't know much about me through my posts, all the last parts of my divorce were done weeks ago. Well, my attorney called me lastnight at 4:20 and said, "Well, am I talking to Miss____________?' I responded with I don't know-you tell me. Apparently, the final and complete end is here. It's official, the judge signed it, the days needed after his signing have passed. I'm done.
WHy the feeling now, after what I consider to be growth, for revenge? IT's been about 5 months since this all went down, he left me for another MARRIED woman with two kids and by the way, she is a student of his-nice. Wow-is that loaded or what?
Now that it is all said and done, there is no going back or waiting until things are official and he can mess with any of it, now I feel the need to get my two cents in. I've sat here, done the "right" thing after he gave her my home phone number and my cell number so she could threaten me if I did do anything-and oh yeah, let's not forget she wanted to let me know why he left me. He hasn't seen his kids regularly since this happened-the kicker is you guys, he really wasn't that bad of a husband before this all happened! But my how things changed once he walked out hte door.
Let's just peruse (sp) the avenues I could travel....I could TOTALLY get him fired, which won't do me any good becaue I need the child support. I could go to his board and write a letter of complaint. They would invesitigate him and revoke his license. I could tell her husband-he has no idea, poor guy. I could get her kicked out of the academy so she can't get a job.
I know what you're thinking...don't do it. It's not worth it. But he has kicked me in the gut so many times, and she has too really. The upper road, being the "better" person, sucks. Am I really going to feel better if I do anything? But when am I going to STOP feeling like he just drove a mac truck over me and backed up again about a million times?? Here I am-your favorite doormat. Let's see how many times you can screw me and I'll just let you do it.
Sorry, I just had to vent this one out.
Re: It's really final....justification in revenge?? jillieb44: Supposing you did one, or even all of those things. I'm sure it would feel good -- at the moment. But guaranteed, you'd feel WORSE about yourself later.
Taking the high road is HARD. Very Hard. But you will get past this hard part, and be able to look yourself in the eye, and be proud of how YOU handled this respectfully.
Let it go. Hard as it may be, you need to in order to move on.
Jillie
Re: It's really final....justification in revenge?? fndcourage: Up to this point, I've done just that-been able to look in the mirror and say, you know what? He can never come back on you and say you did x, y or z, because I haven't. BUT oh, it is so tempting at this point. Before I didn't do anything partly because I was worried he'd go back and try to reneg on something and drag this out so I just kept my mouth shut. THe other part is I didn't want him to have any ammo on me for the next fifty years of my life. Now it's like the gates are open, I can say and do what I want.
You're right-it would be instant gratification....but it would feel AWESOME in that moment!
