women and "bad boys" Ladies? 2be: Hey there all of you... ladies, I have a question for you: What is it about "bad boys" that attracts so many women? These bad boys end up hurting you and yet it seems so many still pursue them. Why?
My stbxw told me that I just didn't "challenge" her enough and she grew bored with me. I guess I didn't cause enough conflict for her to push back. I dunno. And now my new "friend" that I'm getting to know admitted that in the past she just dated jerks and now that she is getting interested in me, she hardly knows what to do because I don't treat her like crap.
What's up with that? Being nice and polite and treating a woman respectfully only gets the "I'm sorry, I just like you as a friend" kinda thing. I'm not saying my new friend isn't interested anymore... she says she still is very interested in me, but because she's never dated a guy that treats her well, she's confused and is scared shes going to mess it up somehow.
So what is it about jerks that is so freakin' attractive???? Enlighten me, please.
Re: women and "bad boys" Ladies? alonewith2: For me it isn't about being treated like shit. I'd rather not be treated like shit, but there are other aspects to the "bad boy" that I find appealing that you don't get with Mr. Nice Guy.
1) Mystery - I don't know everything about him within the first few weeks. In fact, I usually don't know much about him at all.
2) Spontaneity - Doing things on a whim...with no reason for it.
3) Excitement - Goes along with #2 and #1.
4) Self Confidence - Self explanatory.
If you can find a Mr. Nice Guy that has all 4 of those qualities, then you've found Mr. Right for most of the female population. The point is we don't want Mr. Bad Guy....but they tend to have most of these qualities that Mr. Nice Guy lacks. Some women tend to put up with the "treating like shit" quality as an unwanted side effect. I, personally, don't put up with that quality too well....but I tend to scare off Mr. Nice Guys so....I'm stuck without anyone. But, yes, my goal is to find that Mr. Nice Guy who also is mysterious, spontaneous, exciting, and exudes self confidence. ;)
Re: women and "bad boys" Ladies? Lumpy: I'm wondering if part of the attraction might be an accountability thing coupled with a risk-reward factor. If it doesn't work out, no big deal right? You knew he was an A-hole going in. It wasn't your fault, the guys a player, jerk, bad-boy, etc. Plus, you might just be the woman he needs in order to change.
Re: women and "bad boys" Ladies? flyaway: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=27107.msg262052#msg262052 date=1143330204">
you might just be the woman he needs in order to change.
[/quote">
I don't think so. Does anyone actually ever go into relatilonships thinking they can change the other person anymore? ??? This is so completely wrong on so many levels.
As a bunch of divorcees or soon to be divorcees, wouldn't we have learned our lesson about this one by now?
Now, to answer the origonal question: I think I personally, am attracted to more of a "bad boy" simply because it seems like what I see is what I get with them. You see, I thought I had Mr. Right...and a good guy. He turned out to be less than stellar in his lifestyle choices and commitments.
So I guess it's partly that I don't trust the guys that seem too good to be true. :(
That's my thoughts on the matter.
Flyaway
Re: women and "bad boys" Ladies? Lumpy: [quote author=flyaway link=topic=27107.msg262055#msg262055 date=1143330754">
Does anyone actually ever go into relatilonships thinking they can change the other person anymore? ??? This is so completely wrong on so many levels.
[/quote">
I've seen it happen so often and it just boggles my mind. "He/She is really is a good person because of this side of his/her character. That's just the face he/she shows to everyone else." And then you end up consoling that person when he/she screws them over for the umpteenth time.
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