Re: being "in love" jadedangel: [color=navy"> Ok ... I can understand that a person cannot stay 'in love' forever ... or having the magickal feeling that you have at the first of the relationship for the rest of your lives -- however, my question is more concerned with ... how does one claim to love someone with such an intensity .. then just drop them off at the curb and say ... oh well ... 'out with the old, in with the new'?
It's the giving up part that bothers me ... [/color">
Re: being "in love" Bea: I read somewhere that love is what's left after "being love", after the infatuation part goes away. Then I asked my father if it was true (my parents were married for 36 years and they still would be if he hadn't died), he said probably, but it's all about commitment. You make a promise, you keep it. You stick through thick and thin. That's what real love is.
Re: being "in love" lexi1012: I think the word "claim" is key. Someone may say they love you, but not have the same conception of it as you. My husband "claims" to love me, but says we don't get along and that is why he left. Well, that's not love. When you love someone, you want to spend your life with them. My ex also had the ridiculous belief that divorcing could mean a fresh start for us as a couple. Ya, like I will ever forget all the pain he caused me.
I think that when you have been hurt by someone, your feelings change. I look at my ex now and the feelings I once had are gone - his actions killed them.
Re: being "in love" jadedangel: [color=navy"> I think your right Bea -- and seriously I don't think people do it anymore. So many people do not get what a committment is... a true committment. It's sad.
I actually sat in a seminar about educating yesterday and how generational differences effect how people learn. It was absolutely fascinating to me actually -- because I think it effects how people commit. To look at core values of a generation and how their time period shaped them somewhat shows how they treat everything in our life ... Thanks generation X (hey it's not our fault right?) ;) Sorry rambling ....
But to WTMO ... I say 'claim' .. extremely literal -- that is exactly what I feel my ex did ... If he would of truly loved me ... the way he claimed ... he would never of let me live this last year hurting the way I have ... What's sad to me .. is I actually believed his claim ... [/color">
Re: being "in love" Bea: Unfortunately relationships seem to be disposable these days. Kind of "I'm with you while there's some benefit, but once it doesn't go my way, I leave." -- That's what I think happened to my EX. I look back and realize than none of the things he did were selfless acts. If it worked for him, it was OK, but as soon as he didn't like something or didn't get anything from it, the best thing to do was to forget about it, including his wife.
I really don't know what makes "modern" relationships different from the ones our parents had. I blame it on society and its dynamics, how everything can be bought and sold, how everything is so easy to replace these days. We've lost values, we've lost morals. People want it easy all the time.
Do you remember that line from "Finding Nemo" when Dory tells Marlin that she doesn't want him to leave because no one has stuck with her before? I feel that way. People give up so quickly these days and love is assumed to be that stage when you see life through a coloured glass, but once the glass is gone, everyone feels like bailing out because "commitment" seems to be a very complicated task.
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