Re: Big Deal or Not? MikeB: ...sounds to me like she's craving attention... but isn't aware of it... she's posting for all the world to see but when you read it and confront her with it she sees it as an invasion of her privacy... it looks like she wants attention, support and appreciation... but doesn't want anyone to get close enough to realize the motives for her behaviour or the consequences...
...she's gotta sort herself out, man!
btw... if you're into Camus and Existentialism, read Heidegger and Sartre... it's enlightening and helpful!
Re: Big Deal or Not? Older Guy: Hummm...usually where there's smoke there's fire ! if her actions were innocent there should have been no problem telling you about it. It was hidden from you for a reason.
Re: Big Deal or Not? doseyclwn: Okay, here's my other .02, and this is just my own feeling about it...
If I cannot trust someone enough to let them post 6000 times on a website without checking on them, I do not need to be married to them.
Marriage without trust is hell. It sucks. While you may or may not have reason to be upset/suspicious, the fact that you feel the need to snoop says that you do not trust her. I just don't see how a Good, committed relationship can happen without trust.
Now having said that, I DO believe that trust can be rebuilt. I just don't believe that it can be rebuilt if a)only one person is interested in doing all that it takes not matter what to rebuild it or b)One person keeps a resentment/suspicion hidden or active and does not deal with it.
And I sincerely hope you are able to work that out. I really do. But please, think about what I said.
Re: Big Deal or Not? camus76: What has made me suspicious isn’t that she posted 6000 times; it is the fact that she hide it from me. I went to this website for the sports content frequently before I knew, so she had to go through some effort to keep her posting hidden from me. Also it is the fact that I know now that she has been going to meet and greets for the website as well as giving out our phone number before she even moved out.
She hide more than posting. She hide from me the friends she had made. I agree with what you said about a good relationship has to have trust. I have to be able to trust her and she has to be able to be open and honest, which she hasn’t been.
Why go through the effort of hiding if there is nothing to hide?
Re: Big Deal or Not? doseyclwn: Yeah, the hiding thing is suspicious. I will admit that. All I am saying is that trust needs to be there for a marriage to work. I'm sorry you're going through all this.
