Re: need adivce turning leaf: You're divorced. Other than your children's issues, you don't have to and you are not obligated to talk to her about anything and be chatty catty with. I am a believer in honesty even if it hurts. Why play games? Why pretend? Why waste the energy and prolong the agony? Tell her that your wounds are too fresh for her to freely sprinkle salt on.
Keep all contact to a minimum. I will never stress this enough: LESS TALK=LESS MISTAKES.
Re: need adivce Alliance_22: they are right, dont be a me and be wussy.... completely neglect her calls, dont even call her. Go regain your life back by doing things that makes others see you as yourself... good start is to work out, do your push ups and have a healthy diet.... at least the next time when she sees you, she'd be "OMG you are sexy" dont ever linger, but never close the door on her should she realize what she have done and regret. but then again its different for each person, cause for me, i think everyone deserves a second chance.
If you wanna get her back, then first step .... LET HER GO.... regain your self identity, self confidience, dont speak or utter your words.... action speaks louder than any words put together. Show her that you can have a great life without her... cause in reality, you CAN.
Just keep telling yourself.... she was never there in the beginning, and i lived my 20 years of life alone anyways... getting to know her and falling in love with her is a priviledge, a gift, a Temporary boost in self confidence. But know that this priviledge, gift and boost in confidence CAN be stripped from you... and it has happened to you... and me.... and to every other person on this forum. Why are we mourning so much? Why are we crying? Crying over someone or something that we never had in the first place?? Dosent make sense.
If you are truely planning on having her back... thats providing you have sat down and thought it through "Can i .. REALLY.. accept what she has done?.... Can i REALLY forgive her?" If you answer yes to both, then your first step is to Let Go. ....
Goodluck bro
Re: need adivce dcjr45: Thanks guys for the advice. I did send her a short email about how I was feeling but I do agree that I need to keep contact to a minium and concentrate on myself. I've let myself go in so many ways in the past 7 mos. It's just so hard when I see her a few times a week when we drop off or pickup the kids. We talk during the week to work out schedules and stuff. And it just kills me to see how easy it is for her. Like it's all no big deal whether she's actiing or not. She's made new friends and does different things. All the things that I should be doing as well but have a hard time doing. I want so bad to move on and get on with my life but i"m not sure where to start or how to start. I know what I need to do. But sometimes just can't seem to do it. It's like divorce is ok or normal with her. Just about everyone in her family has been divorced and remarried multiple times so this probaly is no different to her. This is all she's seen since she was young. Yet my parents have been married for 30+ years and still best friends. I don't know......
Re: need adivce sheeps: Keep the communications to email and about the kids only; swap children at a neutral place and always be "required" somewhere else immediately afterward.
No personal contact.
-R
Re: need adivce twine: I agree with sheeps completly if it dosn't pertain to the children you don't need to say it or hear it.
