I Tried but cant do it.. im sorry Alliance_22: Dearest M*****,
For the past 2 weeks or so, i've been trying to do as you have asked. I've tried to be just friends, and nothing more. You call me every 2 days, and we see each other nearly everynight. Only 2 nights ago, you had an emotional break down, you told me that you waited for a whole day for your crush to go online and talk to you... and when he did go online, he wanted to play his game, and didn't talk with you. You felt sad and you came to me.
I always told you i will be there for you with open arms, 2 nights ago, i gave you my shoulders for you to cry on. we hugged, we talked, through that process of seeing you the way you were, i was heartbroken... you wanted to breakup so you can be happy, but you were sad...
You asked me if i loved you, deep in my heart i do, but i couldnt say it out because it will make things worse. I told you that i dont know and i dont think we can get back together... these words honestly kills me, cause i know i really want you back. I said "I dont know if i really do love you" But you said "I know you do, do you need me to prove it?" and i did, i wanted you to prove it... so you kissed me, and we kissed and kissed cause i cannot hold back my emotions for you. Okay, you got me, yes i do love you heaps... but you still 'like' the guy you met on the net... why you have so strong feelings for someone you havent really seen? I dont know why, Why do you say "I feel guilty kissing you, like having an affair ... feels like im in a relationship with him and having an affair with you" Words like these breaks me, and i wish i can say something.
I know im being used as a puppet, but strangely, im happy to let you use me like a puppet, and i think you're the only person that can do this to me, even when you've done so many things to break me, i still love you. I never held a grudge against all this... i dare say my love for you is true love, and unconventional... i'll take bullets for you, even if you dont love me anymore, I question my very own motives day and night... Sometimes i think why im putting in so much effort... knowing you wont be back in my arms?
So many questions, so little answers, Still one thing remains true, i know this life, i'll always be loving you.
You'll never get this letter, and i hope to god that you'll never have to come here and post like what im doing... i wish you best of luck in what ever you want to do, i wish luck and fortune goes with you where ever you want to go.... Should you want to come home babe? the doors are always opened here.
With Love,
C****n
Re: I Tried but cant do it.. im sorry brokenbaby: :'(
I wish I had words...
~BB
Re: I Tried but cant do it.. im sorry Psyner: Wow. Love is so strange. That was very moving. I don't know why she wouldn't want to be with someone who cares about her so much. I doubt it's possible for her to find someone with the same feelings. She seems to think that her online buddy can provide it though. Odd.
