Re: ex wants to reconcile? picadilly: Ya.... that is a bit pushy to expect a long, drawn out email to you, even if he is feeling remorseful. You deserve it for sure, but work sometimes frowns on people doing personal emails on the work computers. Remember that some companies even keep records of all company incoming & out going emails... so whatever he has to say to you could be recorded by his company & will get him in trouble.
That said, your anxiety about this must stem from something. If you are not feeling comfortable with your level of trust of him... then back away from him. I'm not saying forever... I'm saying for the time being. It's only been a couple months & sound’s like this is a sore spot you haven't reconciled with yet. Until you do, I can't see how you can even try to be in a relationship with him again. He needs to move out of her place... he needs to set up a life outside & away from the OW, where you know he's alone & trying to win you back & not living under her roof.
I realize this is hard, I realize you may not feel you have the strength... but this worrying over nothing since he can't message you at work is just sapping more energy from you, emotionally & I'm sure it's draining physically too, if it was anything like mine was way back when. Don't get your hopes up, to be dashed away like some much dust in the wind. You really have to take your time with this or you will be hurt again, I can guarantee it.
Re: ex wants to reconcile? 2be: Trust is a difficult (but not impossible) thing to rebuild. I couldn't do it, so I thought it was best to end my relationship after she cheated on me. I didn't think I was capable of allowing myself to trust her ever again. You need to do some serious soul searching too... because if you CAN'T truly forgive and trust him again, your relationship will never be it's fullest.
I think you two being friends at this point is a good thing. Is he going to be living on his own or moving back in with you? You two need to slowly rebuild your relationship and unfortunately a lot of the weight is on your shoulders because you have to learn to trust and forgive.
Best of luck to you... and yes, give him space. I know you're really freaked out and scared right now but if he is truly willing to do this, then you need to allow him to show you. Too much pushing on your part will only drive teh wedge deeper.
Re: ex wants to reconcile? sadnbroken: My ex and I reconciled and then exactly one year later, we broke up again. So, I would say, be very careful. He has to prove himself to you first. And if he really loves you, he'll do anything to prove himself. Trust me.
Re: ex wants to reconcile? newts: [quote"> Any advice on how to begin moving forward? Both of us are not very good communicators, but I said that if we are both willing to give 100% equally and mutually, that I would like to try. I will wait for his response to my letter to see if he can give me that. If he can, what do we do next?[/quote">
Hi Feeling, I remember reading your post the other day. It was obvious that this was going to happen. I did however, comment that the only way reconciliation would be successful would be if the 2 of you were committed to making this work and now he seems ready to do so.
I would recommend just maintaining a friendship at first, I would strongly suggest not to move into together again for at least 6 months and if and only if you can both open up the lines of communication freely then your relationship may have a chance of a happy outcome.
One thing you must remember is the two of you really need to put in 200% and if this is not possible well then I would suggest moving on.
I am very happy for you and I wish you all the best for the future.
Re: ex wants to reconcile? startingover: Don't do it. Thats all I have to say on the matter.
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