Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. hudson: So I met a girl. Each time we hang out, which we've been doing for about a week and a half, we share more and get closer. Since my divorce this is first woman that I have actually felt could be a real contender for something long term and viable. This thing could get serious...if I allow it to.
I've known her for about 4 months but only talked in passing until she approached me about 2 weeks ago and asked if I'd like to carpool with her as she lives near me. From there, the chemistry just happened.
The problem, I've hit a wall. I look back at the mess, the tragedy that my last real relationship became and I just don't want to take that chance again, it simply does not seem worth it...AT ALL. I don't hold relationships in the same esteem as I did before my ex left. I don't value romantic relationships as I once did, I don't see them as a necessity, as I once did.
I'm afraid that I'm not going to give this new woman a fair chance and I really like her a lot. I'm pissed at myself because I know I'm going to cut off this relationship before I've had a chance to really hurt her. Any day now I'm going to cease all contact with her and walk away. If I let her really start to care for me, she'll get hurt. I hate this.
Any advice appreciated.
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. flyaway: Wow, blazin' . I know this is almost a conditioned reaction, but could you somehow get past what comes naturally for you, and give it a chance?
This sounds like it could be fun. She doesn't sound like the real intense type...and we all know you're way laid back.... ::)
Please, for the love of all that's good and holy, give this lucky girl a chance!
:) flyaway
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. thehitekrednek: I'm in the same boat Blazin'. I'm gonna give you the advice I got. Open your heart up, wide open. Think with your head, love with your heart. I know what you're feeling, but you deserve to be LOVED! Let it happen man. You have the tools to deal with pain, if it happens. Can you live with the WHAT IF.
Go for it, you deserve it. And she may just be the one.
Spike
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. Bea: Trying not to get jealous here. He he.
OK, joke aside... I understand what it is like to be afraid after your heart gets broken. It's very easy to lose faith in relationships when someone you love just doesn't commit. BUT, you can't allow this fear to stop you from going after new reasons to be happy again and since you like this girl, why not give it a try? There are no guarantees, of course, but if you don't risk it you may be missing a great chance to rebuild your heart and maybe realize that there are much better things in life than the ones we leave behind unwillingly.
Go for it, dear! I'll get over it. Hah. No, really... GO FOR IT!
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. picadilly: Hey Blazin', don't count anything out before you give it a chance to become something more.
You shouldn't discount every future relationship based on a past one. If that was the case, no one would have a relationship past their first highschool crushes. You said it yourself, there is some chemistry, you have known each other a while now... without getting into a relationship, so thats a plus.
There is no way to predict how this one will turn out... but don't discount it or make that pre-emptive strike to stop it. You say you don't want to hurt her if she gets too close to you, well, ceasing to talk to her & not being her friend anymore will, I don't know... hurt her. I keep thinking that people that think that way are totally selfish. They aren't actaully thinking of the other person... they are only thinking of themselves & the fact that really, they are the ones that don't want to get hurt so they push away everything they deem dangerous. Love doesn't have to be dangerous.
I know you enough to know you are not selfish Blaz, give it a chance. Take it super slow, if you are worried, let her know that you are coming out of a bad relationship & just don't want to rush things. If she really does care for you, she'll do as you ask. There isn't a need to jump in head first, crazy in love. thats how things can burn up.
my advice anyway, take it as you will.
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