Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. hudson: [quote author=2be link=topic=27538.msg267435#msg267435 date=1144435517">
What you wrote, to me, sounds like you're not ready for a relationship. [/quote">
I think this may be the most accurate assessment of my current situation.
If I was ready, I'd be comfortable allowing someone to get close to me. If I was ready, I wouldn't mind having a woman poke her nose into my business. But at this point, letting someone get close to me just feels like an impending mess.
thanks for the input ya'll.
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. gulfcoast: Take it slow.....
You are smarter now...you know what things to look for...
just keep your eyes open and enjoy yourself...
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. ctrlaltdelete: My question is, why would you go into this with any expectations? You are under no pressure to take this relationship any further than you feel comfortable taking it. If you enjoy her company, then do simply that, enjoy her company, hang out, laugh, have fun. However if she tries to take it farther, be totally honest with your intentions up front. She will either understand or not. The ones worth keeping will hang around.
No expectations, no pain.
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. Lumpy: [quote author=blazin'heart link=topic=27538.msg267357#msg267357 date=1144427808">
The problem, I've hit a wall. I look back at the mess, the tragedy that my last real relationship became and I just don't want to take that chance again, it simply does not seem worth it...AT ALL. I don't hold relationships in the same esteem as I did before my ex left. I don't value romantic relationships as I once did, I don't see them as a necessity, as I once did.
[/quote">
Seems to me you answered your own question right there. Until your perspective changes you're not going to be capable of having a healthy, romantic relationship. Listen to yourself.
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. hudson: [quote author=justmenow link=topic=27538.msg267742#msg267742 date=1144506988">
My question is, why would you go into this with any expectations? You are under no pressure to take this relationship any further than you feel comfortable taking it. If you enjoy her company, then do simply that, enjoy her company, hang out, laugh, have fun. However if she tries to take it farther, be totally honest with your intentions up front. She will either understand or not. The ones worth keeping will hang around.
No expectations, no pain.
[/quote">
No matter how hard I try to keep my feeligs out of it, no matter how hard she does, it will go further, we will develop deeper feelings for each other, we will become more attached...it's simply not possible to keep the relationship on a strictly friendship basis.
Let's be realistic here justmenow. Neither she nor I want to be strictly friends, we're attracted to each other, we have chemistry, we talk, we laugh, we desire more, so it's do or die. There is no "take it slow" or "just be friends"...there is an undeniable physical and romantic element that can't simply be ignored or cast aside.
Unlike her, I can see where this is heading...I've been here before, where as she has only the highest hopes with an untainted, un-jaded and positive view of what's to come of us. But she hasn't been down my road, if she had, she'd be hesitant too.
[quote author=Lumpy link=topic=27538.msg267748#msg267748 date=1144509063">
Seems to me you answered your own question right there. Until your perspective changes you're not going to be capable of having a healthy, romantic relationship. Listen to yourself.
[/quote">
I know. I pretty much already had my answer before I even posted this thread. It's just that I feel different about this girl, if I was ready for a relationship, she'd be the one I would head for...yet my issues with commitment remain.
My head, my heart...what a mess. Thanks for listening to my dating drama.
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