Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. yella: [quote author=picadilly link=topic=27538.msg267379#msg267379 date=1144429638">
You say you don't want to hurt her if she gets too close to you, well, ceasing to talk to her & not being her friend anymore will, I don't know... hurt her. I keep thinking that people that think that way are totally selfish. They aren't actaully thinking of the other person... they are only thinking of themselves & the fact that really, they are the ones that don't want to get hurt so they push away everything they deem dangerous. Love doesn't have to be dangerous.[/quote">
I couldn't have said this any better myself! NICE!
Blazin' - You've been through a few relationships, and not too long ago you were talking about having a real woman with substance, well, here she is!
Don't be stupid and throw this away simply because of a fear, it's not worth it. You won't learn anything if you don't take that chance. Seriously. Besides, if you fall away from this, or if she hurts you, come back to us, and we'll help you.
Remember? We're all here to support each other?
There's a risk to everything... why hold yourself back because you're too scared that it'll turn out like your past relationships. Why punish her for something she had nothing to do with? Why deprive yourself of something great because of a fear?
One answer: There is NO real reason! Take the chance!
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. WhiskeyGirl: I totally agree with the others....
Blazin’…as long as you keep passing this off as some “nobel” thing you are doing to keep her from getting hurt…and not accepting it for what it is…. Your own FEAR…it ain’t ever gonna change. Stop holding her at arms length and let yourself feel
The only way to deal with fear is to conquer it head on :-\….or so I’ve heard….I haven’t conquered mine yet either ;D
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. down2basics: Blazin' - I have a different question for you. What would you tell someone who is in your position - met someone really wonderful - there's lots of chemistry - but FEAR is locking him/her in place and they won't proceed and develop this new relationship? How would you get that person to move forward with their life and stop looking back at the past disasters?
fwiw!
d2b
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. timetobefree: hmmm, you know what, blazin'?
You're no coward when it comes to life. I respect that.
Don't be a coward when it comes to this either. It's scary to trust and let go and give your heart to someone. I know this.
But you're not a coward. Don't let fear hold you back.
So there! ;D
Amy
Re: Okay my friendly ojarians, tell me what you think. 2be: I say go for it... but with caution. What you wrote, to me, sounds like you're not ready for a relationship. BUT I think if you let her know wehre you're at... that you really see something in her but you're scared, etc... tehn you both can take it slow and be on the same page.
I think post-divorce relationships fail because people just aren't honest with themselves and then with those that they get involved with. YOU are being honest with yourself and that is a great thing. Self awareness is vital now. Just let her know and see what she says. I bet more than anything she'll be very understanding and only respect you that much more for being honest.
Good luck, dude. It's tough but your heart will open slowly but surely.
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