Re: she left for no reason fiona: Stories were similar, he left about this time last year- mom had health issues (cancer they thought at first) and she ended up almost dying. Life was really stressful and that with poor communication skills and poor coping skills the relationship ended. Every time I saw him he projected anger towards me, I could actually feel the "heat" in the room. When i brought this up, he denied it and really was completely out of touch with his feelings but expressed he felt "bad" when he was with me. Than later came back crying because he still felt "bad" without me. Had a bit of an identity crisis I would say. He was someone who always masked his depression with substances and workaholism. We were together 4 years, lived together for 2. People change a lot in their 20s. They may come back (most often they do) but unless they do a lot of personal work, it's not going to be any better, and they're going to run into the same problems in their future relationships. And keep running back to you when things don't work out. If you don't mind me asking, why did the 2 of you not get engaged after being together 8 years...?
Re: she left for no reason overwhelmed: As far as I can see, we are all in the same boat. We are all hurting. Whether we were given a reason or not, our life has been turned upside down.
Sheeps - I have looked deeper into why he left me. Her name is C and he was sneaking out at night to have hour long phone conversations with her instead of being at home with me and our kids. He walked out 1 month to the day he started to call her. We tried counseling - he went to 1 session and then left. To this day I'm still looking deeper and I'm not eating or sleeping because of it.
Up until last night he and I had no communication. I would ask questions and he would shake his head and say "I don't know". I had to "dig" to find out about C or else I wouldn't know about her either.
Anyway you look at it - the whole thing sucks!
Re: she left for no reason Alliance_22: She left for a reason , and the reason was "She isnt in love with you" anymore. I too believe that someone wouldnt leave without a reason... like my GF wouldnt leave me in 30sec after being together for 5 years. She said she isnt in love with me anymore.... but i later found out that someone else had a crush on her... and she fell for that person... (He was an online crush living 900 miles away in another country)
So the reason why she isnt in love with me anymore was clearly because she was in love with someone else and cannot bring herself to be in love with me. So you can get to the bottom of this, see why she isnt in love with you anymore.
Re: she left for no reason broken_saint: i think i've come to grips with that fact. she was so cruel that night when she told me flat out that she wasn't in love with me anymore but i may think it may be due to another guy. i just can't believe it tho. honestly ... i just can't. we were everything to each other. the night of the 2nd visit that i had with her after she had been to her mother's house she said that she didn't know how to live without me and that she felt like she died. crying in tears telling me that she's so miserable without me. i just don't understand it. i decided to wait till after we were moved into our new place to ask her to marry me. i never told her that or about the ring i bought for her. it was meant to be a surprise. now i'm sorta regretting not doing it last valentine's day instead of the one that passed.
maybe it really is for the best. i can't imagine how hard it must be for those who are married and/or with children. everything about her has changed. her additude. her personality. her frikkin' hair color and style. she wears so much makeup now. she was so naturally beautiful but whats with the heavy shift in appearance? identity crisis maybe? i just don't understand what's happened to her. however, she makes it a point to tell me that she's thinking about me.... after she treated me like such shit!!??? is it just mind games now?
the best thing to do i guess is to just leave her alone. i don't know what that will do in the long run but all that i know is that being here with this huge hole isn't doing me any good. i was always there for her and in the end i needed her and i gave it all that i got to at least try to leave things on good terms between us which she could care less about. we have such a history between us.
(venting)
you've really hurt me so much. you have no idea what you've done to me ... i've always been there for you. please forgive me for this one time but i have to save the last bit of me that i have left to survive without you and to forget. i miss u so much. i don't know what i've ever done to you and i only wish you were here. my world will never be the same without you. you were my best friend.
(/end)
help.
Re: she left for no reason sheeps: Listen folks, or rather, read:
If anyone tells you "they are not in love with you anymore" then you can assume two things:
1. They never were.
2. They are selfish. Love is about giving and sacrificing, nothing else.
This is the TRUTH!
Accept it.
-R
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