testing the waters eeyore0512: It's been over six months since my ex gave me the news that he didn't love me anymore and over six months since I found out about his affair. My divorce will be final next week, and these last six months I thought I was healing. Well yesterday I had to go pick up some things at his place. The selfish jerk wouldn't even meet me half way (we live 200 miles apart now). So I drove all the way there knowing that I wasn't completely over him yet. The d***head actually had the nerve to introduce me to his whore. I'm sorry I can't call her girlfriend. I thought I could handle just seeing him, but meeting her was like rubbing salt into an open wound. All the pain, anger and disappointment came rushing back. Today I cried my last tears for the a**hole. He's controlled me our entire relationship (I was completely dependent on him), I'll be darned if I'm going to let him control me when we're through.
I've managed to get myself a good job making decent money, probably just enough to make ends meet with a little self-sacrifice. I've got a decent apartment now. I'm rekindling my old friendships, even though they are all married with kids now. but I'm still so incredibly scared. Is this normal??? How do I get my sense of self-worth back???
Re: testing the waters Older Guy: Sounds like you're doing all the right things :) keep up the good work and it's only a matter of time at this point.
OG
Re: testing the waters kev: You just made a good start!
You said: Today I cried my last tears for the a**hole...and also...I'll be darned if I'm going to let him control me when we're through.
My divorce was amicable and friendly even though there was infidelity on her part, and she left me for the guy. My hardest thing was just letting it go and letting it be. Can't change things, so don't worry about it. it was a chapter in your life.
Anyway, when you decide that you are not going to cry over it anymore, and you are going to focus on you instead of what was or what happened, it gives you a great feeling...and you will move on, just hang in there.
:-)
Kev
Re: testing the waters Bea: You are focused and that's what's important. You seem to have your life back on track despite the split and I say it's very normal to experience these downs, especially if you had to see him, not to mention meet that other woman.
If you've been able to put yourself back together after all this time and get some control of the things you have to do to go on, I guarantee you'll be able to manage what's going on in your heart now. Give yourself the time to feel sad because we all need it.
And about being scared... Hon, fear is what keeps us going sometimes given the fact is a survival response, because we actually react. Just don't let it control you, OK? Good luck!
