feeling alone charlee: hi all, this is my first post. i've been lurking the past couple days. i am divorced as of january of this year and i do have a bf right now, but i'm feeling alone. i feel like he has other things he'd rather do than hang out with me, not sure if i'm trying to find things wrong with us so i don't get hurt again or what. we hang out about 2 hours a night and that seems good enough for him. i have to get up early in the morn (compared to him) so i never get to go to bed with him...i'm just feeling alone...i know this is an odd post - just needed to get it out and possibly someone can relate? possibly?
Re: feeling alone ctrlaltdelete: [quote author=charlee link=topic=28005.msg272276#msg272276 date=1145630054">
hi all, this is my first post. i've been lurking the past couple days. i am divorced as of january of this year and i do have a bf right now, but i'm feeling alone. i feel like he has other things he'd rather do than hang out with me, not sure if i'm trying to find things wrong with us so i don't get hurt again or what. we hang out about 2 hours a night and that seems good enough for him. i have to get up early in the morn (compared to him) so i never get to go to bed with him...i'm just feeling alone...i know this is an odd post - just needed to get it out and possibly someone can relate? possibly?
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Just my opinion, of course, but this sounds a bit clingy. Please don't take offense at that, but:
1. You've only been divorced since January - 3 months is not nearly enough time to heal and learn to live successfully on your own and get comfortable with being on your own.
2. Sounds like you "need" this guy?
3. A successful relationship consists of two whole people, not one whole and one half or two halves, etc. I'm not entirely convinced you are whole-enough for this yet. (not that I know you or anything - just speaking from my own experience w/ my first rebound relationship post-divorce)
4. "we hang out about 2 hours a night and that seems good enough for him." That would be good enough for me too!!! I *wish* I had that much time every day to hang out with my boyfriend. We're lucky to get 2 hours/week.
By the way, welcome to OJAR - Hey, give yourself some time to heal. What's the rush?
Re: feeling alone charlee: i guess i should have put more information in my previous post. i have been divorced since january but living seperated for almost 3 years now....been with my bf for a year. i guess i'm scared, marriage has come up at our one year mark of being together, he's ready for marriage, i guess i'm scared-scared something will happen again and it will fail...i will fail. i know i should be happy i get 2 hours a night with him, maybe i'm wanting too much.
Re: feeling alone 2be: Welcome Charlee... sorry you're going through this. Divorce does crazy things to people and it doesn't surprise me that you're still scared about failing. What about him... how do you feel? Do you love him? have you communicated your fears to him?
Why don't you go to bed with him? I assume you go to bed early and he stays up late and comes to bed later? The only advice I can offer is just talk with him... let him know what you're feeling...
welcome to ojar. :)
Re: feeling alone superwife: I think I can relate... I just broke up w/ my BF of 8 months (been separated with my ex for 13 months). I realize that it was too soon to get into that...I had almost no time to myself. I wasn't looking to do this, I was just looking t date guys. You did have alone time prior to this guy... or were you with anther guy? Being alone sucks, I know. With my ex BF, I felt that we did not spend enugh time together (2 hurs a night, only 3 nights a week- when my daughter is with her dad). I wanted more than that, or less than that I guess (makes sense). I was looking for all or nothing, and ended up chosing nothing (with his help). So instead of having a boyfriend and feeling alone, I now have no boyfriend and am alone. But I think it's better in a way (for now). It still hurts, but I am no longer in a committed relationship with someone who couldn not commit enough (in my opinion).
Being (almst) divrced, as you are, we have a sense of what we want, and what we don't want. I knew (at least right now) that this is not what i wanted. Is this how yu're feeling?
