Re: No marriage before 30! Harpua: [quote author=MikeB link=topic=28025.msg272881#msg272881 date=1145809469">
What parents and society have to do is not set up compatibility and maturity-test that people have to take before they are allowed to marry...
The parents have to bring their children up in a way so they have respect for the feelings of others and are aware of their responsibility towards others... ethics is the key. Parents need to teach their children kindness, respect and empathy.
With kindness, respect, empathy and a well-developed moral-sense... pepole would think twice, thrice, many times before they enter into a relationship/marriage or break a relationship/marriage up...
Take care...
-Mike
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That's what has stunned me about my divorce. I took such a serious look at myself to decide whether or not I should marry this woman, and I think she just married me because she wanted a husband and she knew I would say yes. She never even considered what it meant to marry someone, let alone what it would do to me if she wasn't serious about it. I just don't understand that level of indifference.
Re: No marriage before 30! 2be: I admit fully that I was too young. I knew what marriage meant and how serious it was... my mistake was not knowing who I was and not knowing the kind of person I wanted to be with. I fell for the first woman who gave me attention and I was overwhelmed with her outgoing personality.
My topic is a VENT and halfway tongue in cheek. I'm merely trying to understand the level of immaturity that goes along with a lot of the hurt here in our age group. I agree that immaturity spans decades! LOL
Re: No marriage before 30! resengen: One thing I have noticed on these boards are that people get angry about being left by there spouse. Also that it is to easy to get divorced and the impact it has on the family etc etc. My view on this is slightly different. Why? Because I was the one who left. I moved out of my home, and left my wife behind.
I do not regret my decision. Also, this was the most diffacult thing I did. It was not easy to do. I joined the rank of divorced weekend Dads. Not putting my little girl to bed at night, seeing her everyday after i got home from work. My relationship with my wife was poison and emotionally destructive. Nothing but a self feeding cycle of critisism from her and withdrawel by me. I did not talk to her. Nor she to me. We hated each other. And when we did talk it was usually funtional or it was fighting. Do I want to raise my daughter in that environemtn? Hell no.
Judging the one who left is always easy. Staying for the wrong reasons is not right either. Do not judge every situation based off of one side of the situation. You can make a person stay. You can not make someone love you, so then what is the point? i dont know, me just babbling...
Re: No marriage before 30! corkscrew: Why don't we just vote Hitler back in?
America is America because we have these freedoms. To say that marriage should be restricted to +30 individuals is ridiculous. Society has changed and the sanctity of marriage has been compromised. It has nothing to do with age.
Remember the days when women were married off at 13 to men 20 years older than themselves? Proof positive that men should wait and women are mature beyond their years.
People are people. We all make mistakes. That is what makes life so interesting and heartbreaking all at once. Sorrow and immaturity are part of the revolving door too.
Re: No marriage before 30! jillieb44: I'm the leaver in my divorce.
I was the one who fought to save the marriage. The ex didn't want to do anything to make the marriage work.
My realization this week (divorce has been final since 4/5/2006) is this: I have the same relationship with my ex as I had while married. Pleasant phone conversations about the kids. That's it. But while married I then had to go home and suffer his emotional abuse (mainly ignoring me and expecting me to run the house by myself, amongst other issues). So I'm glad that's over.
Anyway, I took my vows very seriously, and believed marriage was forever. I did not count on having an emotionally abusive spouse. And I ended up staying 12 years too long.
Jillie
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