Re: I filed for divorce yesterday. thereishope: Hi Cab,
Sorry your tribulations brought you here to Ojar. However it is a good place to be if you need others to help you through the Now of your life.
As a rule I get pretty long winded. So I am going to invite you to look up my post I have written over the few months I have been here, to get a feel of who I am and what I am about.
Hey man there is no better way to lose weight than to lose your spouse. I lost 60 lbs in 3 months. I slept on average maybe 2 hours a night for 5 months, because I didn't want to dream of her. My house was so bad on the inside the rats moved out. I was smoking just like you. I would read the warnings on the side of a pack of cigs and say “WELL, let it be so" I did not care anymore about my life.
I will tell you this, it will not get any easier no time soon, in fact you have just started the engine to h _ _ _ train. It is going to be a long nightmare ride. Now that ride can be made far less horrify if you commit to some important things ASAP.
By the way before I go on. I am a follower of PERFECT LOVE. He has a name. Not knowing you or wanting to offend you in anyway I will try to keep my faith out of this as much as possible. However there are many principles that are true and valid in His teachings.
ONE;
She made her choice and she will pay for that one big time. God's word is very clear about that one. I have never seen it fail. So let her have her way, and allow God to deal with her. I know you love her and I also feel you could take her back if she would do all the right things necessary. Then again maybe not that is your choice.
TWO;
Every thing in that house reminds you of her. Get it out or put it in storage if you can. At some point she will want her stuff. If you have it in storage she will not need to get in the house. Oh, change the locks. I made that mistake by not doing that.
THREE,
For you, I know you don't feel like doing anything around the house or even for yourself. Your kids are watching and learning from you. Bad things do happen to good people. But good people know how to response to it and grow from it. It matters not what happens but what your actions are in those times. Your character is defined by your actions not in the good times but in the bad. PULL YOUR SELF UP AND GET GOING WITH YOUR LIFE, TIME IS WASTING BY. Let the kids see the measure of their dad and his inter strength. Your kids are hurting far more than you know. Trust me on this one. They need to see a dad who they can count on, a winner no matter what life throws at him.
Right now, right where you are, what you do today will lead you into your future. You cannot change the past but you can mold the future by your actions today. You have every right to feel the way you do, but you don’t have the right to wallow in self-pity. Why because you are a son of a King, wheatear you know it or not. This is your time to find Him as such over your life. This is your time to discover just how much you truly are loved. So stop acting as a defeated victim of betrayal. Hold you head up high, you have done no wrong according to you.
By the way her new love will fail.
There is hope and he has a name,
TIH
Re: I filed for divorce yesterday. cab1000: thank you thereishope.
UPDATE:
Well, its Sunday, and she called and asked if she could have the kids for a while. I said no problem. She came over, and she was wearing one of my brothers shirts! I didn't say anything about it. She told me how yesterday, "they" were following a car on the interstate, and it crashed and how they were the first ones on the scene, and how she was all bloody from helping the victim, who was only 18 yrs. old. She said that she was pretty traumatized by that. I said that I was sorry she had to see that, and that's too bad.
She calls me while shes away and starts in, saying not to bring that b!tch around our kids. (I had a female friend over the other night.). I was busy, so I called her back and said that I would not bring her around if she would not bring the kids around my backstabbing brother. She said that would be ok since she did not plan to anyway.
It brought a smile to my face to hear her so mad. But, it also made me a little sad too. I realize that our relationship is over, but my heart is having a heck of a time letting go.
Just an update...
Re: I filed for divorce yesterday. audi_driver: [quote author=cab1000 link=topic=28045.msg272922#msg272922 date=1145821431">
thank you thereishope.
UPDATE:
Well, its Sunday, and she called and asked if she could have the kids for a while. I said no problem. She came over, and she was wearing one of my brothers shirts! I didn't say anything about it. She told me how yesterday, "they" were following a car on the interstate, and it crashed and how they were the first ones on the scene, and how she was all bloody from helping the victim, who was only 18 yrs. old. She said that she was pretty traumatized by that. I said that I was sorry she had to see that, and that's too bad.
She calls me while shes away and starts in, saying not to bring that b!tch around our kids. (I had a female friend over the other night.). I was busy, so I called her back and said that I would not bring her around if she would not bring the kids around my backstabbing brother. She said that would be ok since she did not plan to anyway.
It brought a smile to my face to hear her so mad. But, it also made me a little sad too. I realize that our relationship is over, but my heart is having a heck of a time letting go.
Just an update...
[/quote">
cab1000------Are you going for custody????
If you are, you better file something tomorrow with regards to cusotdy.....Ask to be primary, resdiential...........Do this RIGHT AWAY because who ever does it first has the upper hand......
Re: I filed for divorce yesterday. Annie: Cab,
I was reading your story and I'm sorry about what you are going through. What amazed me is how mature you were/are. To get married that young, have a big load on your shoulders, keep them straight and do the right thing! Good for you!
I hope you are feeling better and the sun is shining bright for you. Keep posting and God bless!
Re: I filed for divorce yesterday. lumbeeman: all i can say is your wife and brother are scum, they should be" in anormal world" the poeple you could count on the most, just take care of your babies the best you can and you will be fine. one day my friend you will look back on this and smile, becasue this had to happen for the better life that awaits you
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