Re: she's found someone already PickingUpThePieces: toofresh,
You move on in little steps. Focus on even the smallest steps you've made, like getting out with friends today. Even if it hurt while you were out at the driving range, you got out with people who support you, instead of remaining isolated. Try to focus on that instead of the negative thoughts in your head, I know it's tough...keep posting, Ojar is here to listen...hang in there.
Re: she's found someone already Spectrum: Dave,
Well, in your case, moving on is too broad a thing at this point. The "move on, man" was more directed towards Mike, who has had alot more time to work through this.
You need to find one tiny, small thing you can get control of in your life that is independent of her, something good for you that you can help flourish. All it takes is one little seed. Come up with something, no matter how trivial, that you can do. Something interesting, or even just entertaining.
Start going to comedy night at a local club. Pick a friend you rarely get to see, or a coworker you've had an interesting conversation with and ask them to go with you. Take a course in under-water basket-weaving. Do some pilates at a studio. Join a book club. Plant something in your yard, or in a basket inside your window. Take a cooking class. It doesn't matter what it is, or whether you'll want to keep doing it six months from now. But just do something *different* and try to get at least a tiny part of your mind outside the box for a while.
Even if you end up hating whatever you decide to do, you'll still have the satisfaction that you're doing something for *you* to help yourself start the process.
And it *will* help. Every tiny little thing you can do to help lighten the load at this point will add up.
Spectrum.
Re: she's found someone already lapse of reason: Hey there darlin'. Sorry to hear you have been added to the walking wounded.
Yes, it is a shocker when you know the one you love is with another. Your mind imagines and conjures images that take your soul to a dark and painful place. I have been there for the last nine months.
Just know that you WILL keep moving and eventually the moving will move you on. Take it one day at a time. Don't think of months or years. Just breath and take baby steps.
We are all here for you and will read and understand and cry and remember too.
Re: she's found someone already 2be: Yes, it is difficult but the healing process is a winding road. You will get better, even though right now it doesn't seem possible. I went through some SEVERE guilt and regret. I never thought it would go away. It still is not completely gone. My guilt and regret eventually became anger, rage and then it burned away and left acceptance.
i accepted I did wrong in the relationship.
i accepted that she cheated on me
i accepted that her actions were not caused by mine
The advice here is good to go and find something that only YOU like. I had cycling and it honestly saved my life.
Re: she's found someone already ih8BeinAlone: toofresh, i've told you this before, but our stories are pretty much paraellel. my ex is also seeing someone else. i know this guy as well and he's a real nice guy. but one thing you have to keep in mind is that you do have an advantage, you have been with her for 5 years or so? that's time that you've had that this new guy hasn't. i'm sure once the hurt and anger are gone on both of your sides, you both will have a better perspective on whether it could work or not. well that's what i'm hoping for at least.
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